IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. How the Unemployed Spend their Time, UK, last year

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. How the Unemployed Spend their Time, UK, last year
#uk #time #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The table depicts how unemployed people in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 spent their whole
day
Use synonyms
last
Linking Words
 year by splitting the
day
Use synonyms
 into two parts; morning and afternoon and categorising the tasks gender-wise as well. In the morning,
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
 men utilized their
time
Use synonyms
 in job hunting followed by shopping and housework
while
Linking Words
 in the afternoon, they used their
time
Use synonyms
 on watching TV and doing gardening.
on the other hand
Linking Words
, women spent much of their
time
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing housework and shopping in the first
half
Use synonyms
 as well in
second
Add an article
the second
show examples
half
Use synonyms
 of the
day
Use synonyms
. Drinking and staying in bed were the activities on which both genders spent less
time
Use synonyms
 in a
day
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, male people tried to find
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
jobs for them in the morning and did
grocery
Fix the agreement mistake
groceries
show examples
 and performed housework as well. In the afternoon, they consumed their 14%
time
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
watching TV, 13% on gardening and 12% on visiting friends.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they spent less
time
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
drinking and staying in bed in
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
half
Use synonyms
 and second
half
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Secondly
Linking Words
, females spent most of their
time
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing household routine tasks followed by shopping and job searching
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the whole
day
Use synonyms
. They
consumed
Verb problem
spent
show examples
 less
time
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
drinking and staying in bed.
Submitted by nida.naeem64 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words day, time, half with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: