Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects . Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

It is considered by some
university
students
that doing extra-curricular activities
together with
the curriculum
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
their school
life
more enjoyable,
while
for others, concentrating on
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
is more crucial than anything else as they aim for good jobs and
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
money. As for me, I think learning more
subjects
along with
the main subject is more beneficial.
Firstly
,
university
life
is one of the happiest times in a
student
Change noun form
student's
show examples
life
as they have no
limitation
Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
show examples
or
restriction
Fix the agreement mistake
restrictions
show examples
for anything. At the same time, they can pursue their hobbies with proper time management. After finishing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
college, most of them have to do jobs and earn for themselves and their family. So, before jumping
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
adult
life
, they should learn other
subjects
like music, dance or sport whatever they are interested in. By doing so, they won’t have any regrets later in their
life
.
For example
, most
university
students
in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
do
Verb problem
have
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
extra-curricular
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
at least
one
Correct your spelling
once
show examples
after the
covid
Correct your spelling
COVID
show examples
era.
On the other hand
, some
students
are very ambitious and only concentrate on achieving good
score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
show examples
in their
subjects
because they may have
other plan
Change the wording
another plan
other plans
show examples
for their
life
. Their goal is to secure their future with good
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
and proper
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
show examples
for which better qualification is needed. To illustrate, those, who are doing 9-5 jobs are generally
this
type of people. In conclusion,
life
in
university
is one of the most important periods for a person, as they can do whatever they want, and I think learning new things at
this
time will
add-up
Correct your spelling
add up
show examples
more skills in them. So,
students
should concentrate on their main
subjects
as well as
doing extra-curricular activities will bring a bright future.
Submitted by nmpppp4444 on

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Examples
Expand your range of examples to strengthen your argument. While the UK university example is good, incorporating a broader range of examples could provide a more compelling argument.
Analysis
Work on deepening your analysis of the opposing viewpoint. Acknowledge the validity of focusing solely on studies but explore in more depth why a balanced approach might be more beneficial for most students.
Structure
You've structured your essay clearly, with a good introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes your argument easy to follow.
Opinion Integration
Your personal opinion is well-integrated and clear, providing a good balance between discussing both views and stating your own position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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