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Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagrams below shew the life cycle of the silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth.  Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons were relevant.

#diagrams #shew #life #cycle #silkworm #stages #production #silk #cloth #information #features #comparisons
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The charts present the life process of a silkworm
as well as
 the steps in manufacturing
silk
 cloth.
Overall
, there are 4 stages in
silkworm's
Correct article usage
the silkworm's
show examples
 life and 6 phases in
creation
Add an article
the creation
show examples
 of cloth made of
silk
.
To begin
 with,
moth
Correct article usage
the moth
show examples
 lays
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 eggs on leaves after which in 10 days the larvae hatch from it and begin consuming mulberry
leaf
Fix the agreement mistake
leaves
show examples
 to sustain themselves. Following 4-6 weeks, the larvae coat themselves in
silk
 thread and
further
 cocoon themselves in 3-8 days.
Finally
, after 16 days a fully matured moth exits the cocoon to continue its life cycle. The second diagram begins with the selection of
silk
 threads and it's boiling in water in the second step.
Following
this
, the boiled
string
Fix the agreement mistake
strings
show examples
 are unwinded after which they are twisted and dyed into some color.
Finally
, in the final step they are weaved
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 silks and the
last
 three steps are repeated for good quality.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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clarity
Ensure precision in terminology for clarity, such as using 'silk moth' instead of 'moth' to avoid ambiguity.
coherence
Try to include a broader range of linking words for smoother transitions between ideas.
structure
Incorporating a brief conclusion or summary statement can enhance the overall impact of the essay.
structure
Effective use of the overview to present the main stages succinctly.
coherence
Clear and logically structured description of the processes.
content
Relevant and specific details provided for both life cycle and production processes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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