You recently bought an item of clothing from a shop. You discovered that it had a fault and returned it to the shop for replacement or refund. However, the assistant told you that this was against the store's policy. Write a letter to the store manager

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

letter
because
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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to inform you about an issue related to your shop. I am aware of the fact, that your store has a big name in
clothing
Add an article
the clothing

The noun phrase clothing business seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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business and
known
Add a missing verb
is known

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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for fair dealing. It is
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

true that the client satisfaction is your first priority.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

. I would like to highlight my problem.
Last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

weak
Correct your spelling
week

The word weak doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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I bought a branded suit from the shop. But the quality of the
clothe
Correct subject-verb agreement
clothes

It seems that the verb clothe does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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is not as it should be.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore

If you don’t want Futhermore to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, I called the assistant and
request
Wrong verb form
requested

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb request. Consider changing it.

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him to return or exchange the suit but he replied
me
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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that
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

strict
Correct article usage
the strict

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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policy of the
store
Add a comma
store,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase due to strict policy of the store. Consider adding a comma.

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we are not able to accept your demand regarding
replacment
Correct your spelling
replacement

If you don’t want replacment to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

or returning the item.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the way of talking is polite
but
Remove the conjunction
apply

It appears that the word but is unnecessary in this sentence. Consider removing it.

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I
shocked
Add a missing verb
was shocked

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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to
here
Correct your spelling
hear

The word here doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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. I am a regular client of the shop and not accepting
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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response like
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

. Please take
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun notice in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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serious notice of my humble submission and
asked
Wrong verb form
ask

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb asked. Consider changing it.

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the staff to manage my issue. I shall be
gateful
Correct your spelling
grateful

If you don’t want gateful to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

for your kindness Yours Faithfully, Kunwar

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Grammar & Spelling
Make sure to proofread your letter for spelling (e.g., 'weak' should be 'week', 'clothe' should be 'cloth') and grammatical errors (e.g., agreement between subject and verb, proper use of articles).
Structure
Organize your letter into clear paragraphs, each addressing a distinct aspect of your situation for better coherence. One paragraph can outline the issue, another can explain your attempt to resolve it, and a third can suggest what you would like the manager to do.
Detailing
To enhance task response, provide specific details about the item purchased, such as the date and the exact nature of the fault. This makes your request more compelling and easier for the manager to act upon.
Tone
Maintain a respectful and formal tone throughout the letter. While your frustration is understandable, ensure that your request to the manager is polite and well-reasoned.
Task Achievement
The letter presents a clear issue and a request for action, meeting the basic requirements of the task.
Tone & Structure
The use of a formal greeting and closing is appropriate for writing to a store manager, showing awareness of the suitable writing tone.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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