IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You recently bought an item of clothing from a shop. You discovered that it had a fault and returned it to the shop for replacement or refund. However, the assistant told you that this was against the store's policy. Write a letter to the store manager

#item #shop #fault #replacement #refund #assistant #was #store #policy #manager
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
 letter
because
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to inform you about an issue related to your shop. I am aware of the fact, that your store has a big name in
clothing
Add an article
the clothing
show examples
 business and
known
Add a missing verb
is known
show examples
 for fair dealing. It is
also
 true that the client satisfaction is your first priority.
In addition
. I would like to highlight my problem.
Last
weak
Correct your spelling
week
show examples
 I bought a branded suit from the shop. But the quality of the
clothe
Correct subject-verb agreement
clothes
show examples
 is not as it should be.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, I called the assistant and
request
Wrong verb form
requested
show examples
 him to return or exchange the suit but he replied
me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
that
due to
strict
Correct article usage
the strict
show examples
 policy of the
store
Add a comma
store,
show examples
 we are not able to accept your demand regarding
replacment
Correct your spelling
replacement
 or returning the item.
Although
 the way of talking is polite
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
I
shocked
Add a missing verb
was shocked
show examples
 to
here
Correct your spelling
hear
show examples
. I am a regular client of the shop and not accepting
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 response like
this
. Please take
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
serious notice of my humble submission and
asked
Wrong verb form
ask
show examples
 the staff to manage my issue. I shall be
gateful
Correct your spelling
grateful
 for your kindness Yours Faithfully, Kunwar
Submitted by computersinn2007 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar & Spelling
Make sure to proofread your letter for spelling (e.g., 'weak' should be 'week', 'clothe' should be 'cloth') and grammatical errors (e.g., agreement between subject and verb, proper use of articles).
Structure
Organize your letter into clear paragraphs, each addressing a distinct aspect of your situation for better coherence. One paragraph can outline the issue, another can explain your attempt to resolve it, and a third can suggest what you would like the manager to do.
Detailing
To enhance task response, provide specific details about the item purchased, such as the date and the exact nature of the fault. This makes your request more compelling and easier for the manager to act upon.
Tone
Maintain a respectful and formal tone throughout the letter. While your frustration is understandable, ensure that your request to the manager is polite and well-reasoned.
Task Achievement
The letter presents a clear issue and a request for action, meeting the basic requirements of the task.
Tone & Structure
The use of a formal greeting and closing is appropriate for writing to a store manager, showing awareness of the suitable writing tone.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: