IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In this ESL banking writing task describe the data in the two figures below that relate to banks in the UK. Figure A shows the total number of branches that the four biggest banks had open in 2014, while Figure B shows the number of branches that each of those banks closed in 2013. Write two or three paragraphs describing the information included in the two figures.

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While
 the first bar chart illustrates the total number of offices that the four largest banks had opened in 2014, the second block delineated the sum of branches that each one had closed in 2013.
Then
 units are given in 200 for the first demonstrative table
such
 as banks reducing was shown per 10. Looking from an
overall
 perspective it is readily apparent that the number of country arm branches rose dramatically in 2014 compared with the previous year just after the period when the closing of the biggest fund offices reduced following the peak in 2013.
Furthermore
, in terms of statistics, the rise of Funds arrived at the top of just under 1,800,
although
, in 2013, the tendency of fall had been obvious. The only one, Object D, had been demonstrating stable growth. With regards to opening and closing, they,
finally
, followed a more or less similar pattern.
However
, three of them: Banks A, B and C, started at a low level in 2013.
Finally
, the four most famous structures showed approximately 1,500 pieces of augmented difference between 2013 and 2014.
Submitted by lioness1970 on

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Introduction
Try to clearly introduce the figures and their contents in the introduction for clarity.
Lexical Resource
Be careful with word choice and ensure terminology accurately reflects the data (e.g., 'offices' could be clearer as 'bank branches').
Coherence
Use a variety of connectives and transitional phrases to improve the flow and coherence of your essay.
Conclusion
Include a brief conclusion to summarize the main trends or insights from the figures for a rounded analysis.
Task Response
Maintain consistency in the level of detail when describing each figure to ensure a balanced response.
Content Coverage
You effectively described the overall trend and changes between the two figures.
Analysis
Your essay shows a good attempt at comparing data from the two figures, which is important for this task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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