The pie charts below show the propotions of visits to Ireland last year by age group, and by gender and type of visit. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#show #propotions #visits #ireland #year #age #group #gender #type #visit #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The two pie charts

illustrates

Change the verb form

illustrate

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the amount of tourists who visited Ireland

according to

Linking Words

three different categories

such

Linking Words

age

Use synonyms

, gender and type of visit.

Overall

Linking Words

it can be seen that the percentage of women and men who

spend

Wrong verb form

spent

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their leisure time in Ireland

last

Linking Words

year

Use synonyms

was much more

thar

Correct your spelling

than

business purposes. Examining the details, the first pie chart shows that

Irelant

Correct your spelling

Ireland

was the most attractive destination for the 25-34 years olds and the 45-54

age

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group with 23%

last

Linking Words

year

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

number was only 19% for the 35-44

age

Use synonyms

group and both

Correct your spelling

the 16-24

the16-24

Correct your spelling

the 16-24

and the 66 years and over groups have

Correct article usage

a 9

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Correct article usage

a 9

show examples

% share.

Linking Words

Also

Add a comma

Also,

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the 0-15 and the 55-65

age

Use synonyms

categories with 6% and 9% respectively were the least visitors

last

Linking Words

year

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the second pie chart demonstrates that

most

Correct quantifier usage

apply

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both men and women tended to visit

this

Linking Words

country

for spending

Change preposition

to spend

show examples

their leisure time by

approximatly

Correct your spelling

approximately

40%

last

Linking Words

year

Use synonyms

and just around 13% of men came for

business

Add an article

a business

show examples

visit

while

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

rate was 4% for women.

Submitted by m.tavasoli18 on Wed May 01 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words age, year with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.

▼

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

170 words

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The pie charts below show the propotions of visits to Ireland last year by age group, and by gender and type of visit. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Nowadays many students have the opportunity to study for part or all of their courses in foreign countries. While studying abroad brings many benefits to individual students, it also has a number of disadvantages. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, students pay their college or university fees, while in some others, the government pays for them. Do the advantages of governments paying for fees outweigh the disadvantages?

Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family, we just watch television. To what extent for you agree or disagree with this opinion?

in many countries, people live longer and longer. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

Schools should only offer subjects that are beneficial to students’ future career success. Other subjects, such as music and sports, are not important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?