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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the quantities of goods transport in the UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport.

The graph below shows the quantities of goods transport in the UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport.
#quantities #goods #transport #uk #four #modes
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the picture illustrates how many
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quantities of
goods
Use synonyms
 were transported in the UK
during
Change preposition
between
show examples
 1971 and 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was a common increase in the quantities of
goods
Use synonyms
 transported
in
Change preposition
by
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 road, water, and pipeline, except for rail, with road witnessing the most dramatic rise.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
pipeline
Add an article
the pipeline
a pipeline
show examples
 was the least popular in all ways. The number of
goods
Use synonyms
 transported in the UK by road started at around 70
tonnes
Use synonyms
 of
goods
Use synonyms
, after which ended up thriving to almost 100
tonnes
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
, the figure for water was under 40
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 1974, followed by a growth to over 60
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 2002.
Conversely
Linking Words
, exactly 40
tonnes
Use synonyms
 of quantities of
goods
Use synonyms
 were carried
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 rail, with a subsequent drop to under 40
tonnes
Use synonyms
 between 1978 and 1998, and a final rise to the same number as the beginning. The figure for
pipelie
Correct your spelling
pipeline
 saw
a
Remove the article
apply
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growth at the initial time was over 20
tonnes
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 after
then
Linking Words
 it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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witnessed a decline to 20
tonnes
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by nguyenhuyhoa1506 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words goods, tonnes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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