IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Asomiddin Saydusmonov, [4/30/2024 1:15 PM] You will transfer your work place to another and you should write a letter to your boss - explain why you would like to move - request your documents - explain your transfer date

#asomiddin #saydusmonov #transfer #work #place #boss #move #request #documents #date
Dear Semmi! I am writing to apologize for I am moving to another
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
.So
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 feel terrible about
this
 situation. I recently moved to a new house and it's far from my current place of work and I'm late for work because of the distance and it's embarrassing for me. I found a new place near my new house and it's very convenient for me.
Therefore
, I want to leave my job voluntarily and I agree to transfer my job to someone else. I
also
 need my documents
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
please prepare my documents and I will pick them up tomorrow
Change preposition
at lunch
show examples
lunch time
Correct your spelling
lunchtime
show examples
. Because my new job starts tomorrow after lunch at 15:00 and so I need my documents. I hope everything is going well with you. Yours faithfully. Shahibonu.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

greeting and closing
Consider starting your letter with a more formal greeting, such as 'Dear [Boss's Name],' instead of using a casual name unless it's a common practice in your workplace.
complete response
Clarify your reasons for transferring more explicitly and consider how you can make the transition smoother for both your current and future employers.
logical structure
Organize your ideas more clearly by dedicating a paragraph for each main topic (reason for the move, the request for documents, and the transfer date).
complete response
You have successfully included all the necessary points in your letter, addressing the key aspects required by the task.
suitable writing tone
The casual tone may be suitable if it reflects your usual communication with your boss, showing a good understanding of the appropriate tone for your situation.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: