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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Directors of large organizations earn much higher salaries than ordinary employees do. Some people think it is necessary, but others are of the opinion that it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#directors #organizations #salaries #employees #people
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These days, some
people
 believe that bosses of large companies earn more money than ordinary employees, which is essential.
However
,
others
 consider it an injustice. On the one hand, there are several reasons why directors should be paid higher than
others
.
Firstly
, these
people
 have a number of formal meetings with
VIP
Fix the agreement mistake
VIPs
show examples
instead
 of having work that demands a lot of energy. In
this
 situation, these kinds of
people
 need to relax, and their employees should respond with handwork and
others
.
Furthermore
, in order to reach the position of high director, managers and bosses should
be demanded
Wrong verb form
demand
show examples
 the highest qualification to rule their organizations since they have knowledge of making snap and fair decisions
as well as
 how to tackle problems in companies.
On the other hand
,
others
 believe that it is not fair for some reasons. Formerly, even though ordinary
people
 may not do moral work, these
people
 devote their energy and physical skills to activities that are required by their
boss
Fix the agreement mistake
bosses
show examples
, so these
people
 should be paid more than their managers and directors.
Furthermore
, these
people
 should finish many projects that are given by high-ranking
people
, and they may
cause
Verb problem
apply
show examples
overworking
Replace the word
overwork
show examples
 and have a chance to demand a higher wage in order to spend extra hours on
such
 extra projects. In conclusion, there are different kinds of opinions given above, and some reasons are explained. I ponder that both groups of
people
 are equally right because bosses lose their energy for moral activities and typical workers devote their physical strength.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Introduction
Make sure your introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines your position or intent to discuss both views. This sets a solid foundation for your essay.
Paragraphing
While discussing different viewpoints, ensure you clearly differentiate them. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to signal the shift in perspective.
Content
Consider expanding on specific examples to support your arguments. Specific examples can significantly strengthen your points and make your essay more persuasive.
Expression
Work on clarity and precision in expressing your ideas. Sometimes, simplicity and directness can make your arguments more compelling.
Conclusion
In your conclusion, strive to succinctly summarize the arguments presented and clearly articulate your own viewpoint. This helps in reinforcing your position and the coherence of the essay.
Task Response
You have successfully addressed both views on the issue, showing an understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Good use of cohesive devices and paragraphing to structure your essay. Your logical flow of ideas helps in maintaining coherence throughout the text.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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