The bar chart shows the percentage of school children learning to play different musical instrument in 2005, 2010 and 2015. (the piano was over 10% in 2005, over 20% in 2010, about 35% in 2015; the guitar was over 10% in 2005, about 18% in 2010, 40% in 2015; the drums was about 5% in 1005, about 4% in 2010, about 10% in 2015; the violin was 10% in 2005, 9% in 2010, 5% in 2015)

The bar chart shows the percentage of school children learning to play different musical instrument in 2005, 2010 and 2015. (the piano was over 10% in 2005, over 20% in 2010, about 35% in 2015; the guitar was over 10% in 2005, about 18% in 2010, 40% in 2015; the drums was about 5% in 1005, about 4% in 2010, about 10% in 2015; the violin was 10% in 2005, 9% in 2010, 5% in 2015)
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The chart illustrates information about the proportion of musical instruments among school children who are learning in the years 2005, 2010 and 2015.
Overall
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, Piano was most popular in the beginning period but it
Add a missing verb
was outaced
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outaced
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outpaced
outraced
by Guitar in the
last
Linking Words
period.
On the other hand
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, the least famous instruments are Drums and Violin by children. Looking at statistics, Guitar was the second largest percentage in 2005 and 2010 with 10% and 18% respectively and In 2015, it was the highest rate up to 40%.
Whereas
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, the percentage of Piona was constantly increasing which was more than 10% in 2005, with a gradual rise in 2010 was around 20% and reached 38% in 2015. In terms of Drums and Violin, noticed that they did not exceed 10%. Violins showed a downward trend, almost 10% in 2005,
then
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it slightly decreased to 8% in 2010 and fell to 5% in 2015.
In contrast
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, Drums remained
in
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at in
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both years at 5%, after that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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had a slight rise in 2015 with approximately 10%.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Instrument proficiency
  • Year-over-year comparison
  • Percentage increase
  • Cultural impact
  • Technological advancements
  • Popularity surge
  • Music education trends
  • Instrument learning preferences
  • Gradual decline
  • Future projections
  • Statistical significance
  • Cultural preferences
  • Educational implications
  • Accessibility of instruments
  • Shifts in popular music genres
  • Adoption rates
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