Eating too much sugar is harmful to health. Some people think it is the government’s responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think it is an individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
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Consuming too much
sugar
exposes individuals' health to danger, it is scientifically evident that if we do not monitor the amount
of sugar
we eat, we are likely to be patients of many chronic diseases. While
some argue that this
is the government
’s responsibility
to counter this
phenomenon, others believe that it depends on individuals, I would argue that this
is a shared responsibility
.
Firstly
, those who opine that the government
should limit sugar
consumption say that if the government
sets some clear rules and harsh restrictions, that would deter the detrimental effects of overeating sugar
. For example
, imposing high taxes on products that contain a certain amount
of sugar
, moreover
, presenting some labels on goods to refer to the nutrition facts, futhermore
, leading local Correct your spelling
furthermore
campaings
to raise Correct your spelling
campaigns
campaign
floks
awareness about the malignant consequences of overusing Correct your spelling
folks
flocks
sugar
.
Although
these instructions seem to be repeated, it
could play a vital role in Correct pronoun usage
they
this
issue. Therefore
, there must be a law and fines for companies or organizations who breach thses
health rules.
Correct your spelling
these
On the other hand
, individuals have an inevitable responsibility
to control the amount
of sugar
they eat daily, all these rules and government
plans mentioned above will not be effective without cooperation from society. For instance
, folks must take in
consideration that obesity is the main cause of many chronic diseases Change preposition
into
such
as diabetes and blood
Correct word choice
high blood
preasure
, Correct your spelling
pressure
therefore
they must limit the amount
of sugar
they consume, additionally
, those who run giant companies that work in the feeding business have a social responsibility
and an indispensable role to play by considering working with healthy goods instead
of other sugary ones even though they gain more profits from them.
In conclusion, although
overusing sugar
seems to be a personal choice and an individual's taste, I believe that it is a grave danger that the government
and folks have the complete responsibility
to encounter.Submitted by abdoo.magicoo on
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examples
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accuracy
Be cautious about typos and minor grammatical inaccuracies such as 'futhermore' (furthermore), 'floks' (folks), and 'preasure' (pressure). Proofreading can help refine your writing.
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tone
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task response
You've successfully covered both views and provided your own opinion, which is a crucial requirement of the task.
understanding
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examples
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.