IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Work
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 is an important part
in
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of
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 everyone's life. Opinions on whether to
work
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 in
one
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workplace
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 or move to another company are mixed. On the
one
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 hand, people feel comfortable when they
work
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 stably in their place.
However
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,
on the other hand
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, many believe that a
change
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 of
workplace
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 is an advantage for a person
,
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apply
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 because new conditions and salary can have a certain value for future career and health. Both of these accounts will be examined before a conclusion is reached. As many attest, staying in
one
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workplace
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 offers a sense of security and stability. The longer a person stays in a job, the more they become accustomed to the
work
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 environment and the
work
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 routine.
Additionally
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, staying in
one
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workplace
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 can provide access to benefits
such
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 as health insurance, retirement plans, and vacation time, which may not be offered in other companies.
For example
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, if an employee has been with a company for several years, they may be eligible for a higher amount of paid vacation time compared to a new employee. As
result
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a result
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,
this
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 stable staying can lead to a sense of comfort and an increased level of job satisfaction, which can be beneficial for a person's mental and emotional well-being.
However
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, other people would argue that a
change
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of
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in
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workplace
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 can bring a number of
several
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apply
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advantages.
Firstly
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,
new
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the new
a new
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workplace
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 can offer new challenges which can lead to personal and professional growth.
For example
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,
new
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a new
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 job can give opportunities to learn new skills in IT activities or expand your knowledge and network with new colleagues and clients.
This
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 can help to improve your future career perspectives
as well as
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 increase your earning potential.
Moreover
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, a
change
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 of
workplace
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 can
also
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 lead to an improvement in
work
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-life balance, which is very important in everyone’s life. After analyzing both sides of
this
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 argument, it is felt that important to consider the potential opportunities for growth and development that a new
workplace
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 may provide.
Thus
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, by embracing
change
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 and challenging themselves, individuals can build more dynamic and fulfilling careers.
However
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, the decision of whether to stay in
one
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workplace
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 or move to another company is a personal choice and depends on an individual's priorities.
This
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 decision should be based on a careful evaluation of the individual's career goals, financial security and personal well-being.

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Developing examples
Consider incorporating a wider range of example scenarios to more fully illustrate your points and arguments. Real-world examples can greatly enhance the persuasiveness and depth of your essay.
Argument clarity
To further improve your essay, try to enhance the linkage between your supporting points and your central thesis throughout the essay. Explicitly show how each point supports your overall argument for a more cohesive narrative.
Strong conclusion
For higher scores, refine your conclusion by more clearly articulating your personal stance with respect to the views presented. A stronger, assertive conclusion will make your essay stand out.
Logical structure
Your essay presents a well-structured argument, discussing both sides of the issue before reaching a thoughtful conclusion. The structure aids in understanding and following your discussion.
Introduction & Conclusion
You have successfully introduced and concluded your essay, providing a clear overview and a concise summary of your arguments. This framing helps orient and conclude for the reader effectively.
Supported main points
The main points are supported by relevant arguments, contributing to a coherent discussion. This shows good comprehension of the topic and helps in communicating your perspective.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Longevity
  • Corporate ladder
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Professional network
  • Diverse skill set
  • Industry exposure
  • Innovation
  • Resilience
  • Seniority
  • Job market
  • Career trajectory
  • Company culture
  • Professional growth
  • Job security
  • Promotion prospects
  • Cross-functional experience
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