IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Directors of organization earned much higher salaries, the ordinary employees do some people think it’s necessary, but others are of the opinion that it’s on discuss both this use and give your opinion

#directors #organization #salaries #employees #people #it’s
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The debate over time is the fact that higher positions deservedly are more productive in terms of income compared with ordinary
staff
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others have been frustrated with disagreements.
Although
Linking Words
 by the way of being well-paid
boss
Fix the agreement mistake
bosses
show examples
 stimulate their employees to be as qualified as
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, the definition in price might be able to demotivate the regular workers. One of the priority aspects is that well-paid executives are able to be involved in
lower
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
pointed man
such
Linking Words
 skills as intellectual competitiveness and aspiration.
In other words
Linking Words
, ordinary
staff
Use synonyms
 will try to not only earn as much money as their boss but
also
Linking Words
 replace them by copying their
knowledgeFor
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 example: in universities professors’ salaries are much higher compared to teachers. In order to motivate basic tutors institutes have given permission for privileges and financial resources.
As a result
Linking Words
, they became more productive and will have been prepared for the future.
Thus
Linking Words
, prone
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 higher profit grows in
staff
Use synonyms
's sense of competitiveness
as well as
Linking Words
 determination.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if the difference between top executives and office workers is taken as too wide, it can demotivate the workforce. Employees might feel undervalued, which could impact their productivity and loyalty to the company. In
this
Linking Words
 case, companies will not be able to have neither profit nor work atmosphere.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, my mom director of a company frustrated with the situation. There were two people whose knowledge was similar,
while
Linking Words
 the first kept his place for years second had met with a lack of stimulation
due to
Linking Words
 the difference
salary
Change preposition
in salary
show examples
 between them.
Thus
Linking Words
, per cent of Definitions among all positions might
also
Linking Words
 be able to lack motivation. In conclusion, by taking both sides into account I consider
although
Linking Words
 higher posts ought to have Definitions in the salary compared with ordinary
staff
Use synonyms
, it might be able to demotivate them by sacrificing their value
as well as
Linking Words
 abilities.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure
Try to structure your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each section should have a clear purpose.
Support
Focus on developing your main points with examples and explanations to strengthen your argument.
Clarity
Work on clarity and precision in your writing to make your arguments easier to follow.
Grammar & Vocabulary
Review the sentence structure and word choice for errors that could impede understanding.
Balanced Argument
You’ve shown an understanding of both sides of the argument, which is good for a balanced discussion.
Use of Examples
Your attempt to use examples, such as the comparison between professors and teachers, helps to illustrate your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: