IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The increase in the production of consumer consumption goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this and what can be done to solve this problem?

#production #consumer #consumption #goods #results #damage #environment
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In the developed world, there is an upsurge
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the production in the
consumption
goods
,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
 a
result
Add the comma(s)
result,
show examples
this
engender
Correct subject-verb agreement
engenders
show examples
 damage to the environment. In
this
 following
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will provide why
this
 is happening based on my point of view
as well as
 what should be done to solve
this
 problem and make the better environment.
To begin
 with, we realize that in
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
today's
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
 everything is shifting. And, the increase in the production of consumer
consumption
goods
 is one of these things.
This
 can be
happended
Correct your spelling
happened
 that we can easily exposure
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 product in our daily habits,
such
 as watching tv at home
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
 finding the advertisement in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media
along with
 the best actor or actress that we are
Add an article
a fan
show examples
fan
Fix the agreement mistake
fans
show examples
 of,
as a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 we are
influanced
Correct your spelling
influenced
 by them to buy that product.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, we have
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
show examples
 of activities which lead us to have less time
preparing
Change the verb form
to prepare
show examples
 and
cooking
Wrong verb form
cook
show examples
 meals and
this
 causes
we
Correct pronoun usage
us
show examples
often
Fix the infinitive
to often
show examples
 eat
consumption
goods
. These problems not only
affec
Correct your spelling
affect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
 but
also
 damage our world, which brings many thousand garbage from the packaging that
created
Add a missing verb
is created
show examples
 from plastic. The solution to alleviate
this
 matter is the
governtment
Correct your spelling
government
 should be
stricked
Correct your spelling
restricted
stricken
 to the company to produce
Add an article
an eco-friendy
show examples
eco-friendy
Correct your spelling
eco-friendly
show examples
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 that could not
provide
Verb problem
have
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 bad effect
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the environment.
Furthermore
, we should have spare time
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 we can have a time to do cooking at home and
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
reduce an
increasement
Correct your spelling
increase
 in the production of consumer
consumption
goods
.
Submitted by NIPEACENE on

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Development of Ideas
Your essay successfully introduces the topic and outlines the causes and solutions, but the development of these ideas could be more detailed and explicit. Consider expanding on each point with more examples and explanations.
Sentence Structure
Try to clarify and structure your sentences more carefully to enhance readability. Avoid run-on sentences and ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
Spelling and Grammar
Be mindful of spelling and grammar to maintain professionalism and clarity in your writing. Minor errors can distract from the overall quality of your essay.
Paragraphing
Using paragraphs to separate different ideas can help improve the organization and flow of your essay. Ensure there's a clear separation of introduction, body, and conclusion.
Understanding of Topic
You've shown a good understanding of the essay topic by identifying key causes and potential solutions related to the environmental impact of consumer goods production.
Use of Examples
Inclusion of specific examples, such as the influence of advertisements and the convenience of consumption goods, helps in illustrating your points, though more detail could enhance the argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumer consumption goods
  • natural environment
  • single-use products
  • waste
  • deforestation
  • biodiversity
  • pollution
  • manufacturing processes
  • emissions
  • wastewater
  • landfill sites
  • habitat destruction
  • unsustainable use
  • natural resources
  • recycling
  • circular economy
  • stricter environmental regulations
  • eco-friendly materials
  • sustainable production methods
  • educating consumers
  • environmental impact
  • purchasing decisions
What to do next:
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