If all workers in a company were paid exact same wage regardless of job role there would be much more harmony and cooperation between staff. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued that there would be much more harmony and cooperation between
workers
if all
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
in a
company
were paid equally despite the
job
position.
This
essay does not agree that equality in pay regardless
job
Change preposition
of job
show examples
role can enhance the relation between staff.
Firstly
, it can reduce the motivation to
work
;
secondly
Add a comma
secondly,
show examples
eliminate competition among staff.
Firstly
,
workers
tend to choose the easiest
job
and
also
they will not have
Correct article usage
the intiative
show examples
intiative
Correct your spelling
initiative
to
work
more or do their best if there
were
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
equality in pay
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
can cause
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of motivation to
work
.
For example
,
workers
prefer to choose
become
Fix the infinitive
to become
show examples
cleaning
Correct article usage
a cleaning
show examples
service than become a manager or any other intermediate level if they were paid the same amount but have more responsibility.
Secondly
, if
workers
were paid the same amount, they
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
not have
competition
Add an article
a competition
show examples
to do their best among other staff because they do more
work
but
was
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
paid
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
as the worker who
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
less
work
and
less
Add a missing verb
have less
show examples
responsibility.
For instance
, in some companies,
workers
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
rewarded
depends
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
on
if
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
they
work
Wrong verb form
worked
show examples
harder, gave more
contribution
Fix the agreement mistake
contributions
show examples
to the
company
or achieved the target that has been set by the
company
and because of that, it will bring more productivity or
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
show examples
to the
company
.
To conclude
, equality in pay would not bring more harmony and cooperation among the
workers
, but only make
workers
choose the easiest
job
with less
resposibility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
and eliminate competition among the
workers
to give more contribution or achieve the target that has been decided by the
company
.
Submitted by sumitros97 on

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Introduction Improvement
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Coherence & Cohesion
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Supporting Details
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Language Variation
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Essay Structure
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Task Response
You successfully addressed the task by presenting a clear stance and supporting it throughout the essay.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • harmony
  • cohesion
  • financial incentive
  • productivity
  • equity
  • organizational culture
  • highly skilled professionals
  • innovation and competitiveness
  • redistribution of tasks
  • job satisfaction
  • meritocracy
  • contributions and achievements
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