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Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart shows the division of household tasks by gender in Great Britain. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the division of household tasks by gender in Great Britain. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart and the table illustrate how women and men divide their household chores in The United Kingdom. The tasks are divided into six categories. Both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the chart and the table measured in
minutes
Use synonyms
 each person in a day.
Overall
Linking Words
, females took longer
time
Use synonyms
 to complete all those tasks than males.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, females did the tasks more frequently in four
groups
Use synonyms
, namely
Group
Use synonyms
 1(cooking, baking, and washing),
Group
Use synonyms
 2 (cleaning, and house tidying),
Group
Use synonyms
 4 ( care of own children and play), and
Group
Use synonyms
 6 (Clothes, washing, ironing, and sewing). Meanwhile,
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 spent more
minutes
Use synonyms
to do
Verb problem
in
show examples
 the other
groups
Use synonyms
. Females consumed most of
her
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 in
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
Group
Use synonyms
 1, just above 70
minutes
Use synonyms
, and
this
Linking Words
the
Add a missing verb
was the
show examples
 highest
Use synonyms
minutes
Correct quantifier usage
number of minutes
show examples
 spent among all the
groups
Use synonyms
. The rest
,
Change preposition
of, female
show examples
Correct article usage
the female
show examples
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 used 58, 21, 45, 9.5 and 25 to finish
Group
Use synonyms
 2,
Group
Use synonyms
 3,
Group
Use synonyms
 4,
Group
Use synonyms
 5, and
Group
Use synonyms
 6 respectively. Males need the longest
time
Use synonyms
 to complete
Group
Use synonyms
 3, roughly 50, among all the
groups
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they finished
Group
Use synonyms
 1,
Group
Use synonyms
 2,
Group
Use synonyms
 4,
Use synonyms
Group
Correct word choice
and Group
show examples
 5 using an average
time
Use synonyms
 between 10 and 30
minutes
Use synonyms
. To
finished
Wrong verb form
finish
show examples
Group
Use synonyms
 6, Males needed the least
minutes
Use synonyms
, which was only 2
minutes
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by msdedew10 on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words minutes, time, groups, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "divide" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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