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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The line graph provides us with information about number of books that were rented from various libraries from june to september 2014 while the pie chart presents percentage of borrowed books' genre.

The line graph provides us with information about number of books that were rented from various libraries from june to september 2014 while the pie chart presents percentage of borrowed books' genre.
#line #information #books #libraries #june #september #percentage #genre
The line chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of book rentals from different libraries
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
june
Change the capitalization
June
show examples
 to
september
Change the capitalization
September
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2014. The Ryeslip get the highest
number
 which is 300 at
beginning
Add an article
the beginning
show examples
,
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
 it slightly
decreace
Correct your spelling
decrease
decreased
decreases
at the end
 about 160. The Sutton Wood is
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place in
chart
Add an article
the chart
a chart
show examples
 in
june
Change the capitalization
June
show examples
 and
exceed
Wrong verb form
exceeded
show examples
 Ryeslip by slowly
rise
Change the verb form
rising
show examples
 the
number
 to
approximate
Change the word
approximately
show examples
 275 until July.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 July to August, the
number
 of
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
Rapid
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
 the amount to 100 and
as
Correct your spelling
was
show examples
 first to
last
 in August. After that, it
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhanced
show examples
 the
number
 to 300 as fast as it
deline
Correct your spelling
decline
 before to getting the first place again. The West Eaton and Church Mount are both start and end at 50 and 150. The West Eaton is rarely higher than Church Mount, but they always same
trand
Correct your spelling
trend
 during the period.
Overall
, the West Eaton and Church Mount both rise slightly, and the Ryeslip and Sutton Wood switch the first and second place
at the end
.
Submitted by shawn291517 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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