The bar chart shows the percentage of Australian boys and girls( school pupils) attending 4 different sports activities after school in 2010.

#bar #percentage #australian #boys #girls #school #pupils #sports #activities

The graph provides information about how many Australian students participated in four various sports activities in 2010.

Overall

it is clear that

football and basketball were the most interesting games for males,

while

females

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

attended

Change preposition

apply

show examples

netball and swimming. But in no sports

girls

had a higher percentage than

boys

To begin

with the rate of swimming,

girls

had slightly more members than

boys

with approximately 15% compared to around 13% of

boys

In addition

in 2010 football was the most preferable game for the men’s side compared to women with 18% and 2% respectively.

However

, the biggest sporting hobby among women was Netball which was played by 18% of

girls

and 2% of

boys

. Regarding basketball, students were less interested in it, and there were

also

boys

with 8 per cent and

also

6 per cent of women.And the smallest chart was for people who do not play sports compared to others.But

boys

were not as many as

girls

in doing no sport, with 4% and 5%, respectively.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Mon May 06 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words girls, boys with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 3 times.

▼

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

171 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The bar chart shows the percentage of Australian boys and girls( school pupils) attending 4 different sports activities after school in 2010.

Most people agree that money cannot buy happiness. Do you think people can be happy without money? What other factors contribute toward happiness?

Technology is being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally why do people buy imported food what could be done to encourage people to buy local food

Many of the medical problems that people are experiencing in today's world are due to the fact that we have a very sedentary lifestyle. To what extent do you agree or disagree?