IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you for your job. Write a letter to the shop or company to witch supplied the equipment. In your letter -describe the problem with the equipment -explain how this problem is affecting your work -say what to want the shop or the company to do

#work #home #piece #equipment #job #shop #company #witch #-describe #-explain #-say
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Dear manager I am writing
this
 letter regarding that we have a problem with a piece of
equitment
Correct your spelling
equipment
 in my
company
. I want
order
Add the particle
to order
show examples
 one
laptop
 as soon as you
must
Verb problem
apply
show examples
send
this
 mouse
Correct your spelling
first
firts
Correct your spelling
First
 of all, I have a problem
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
laptop
Correct article usage
a laptop
show examples
 in my
company
,
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 staff
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
mistake
Correct article usage
a mistake
show examples
 he
have fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
this
laptop
 until broke and can not use to well
however
, please you fast
respon
Correct your spelling
response
respond
this
 problem so that my
company
 can
oprasinal
Correct your spelling
operational
 again and new staff can work again I hope as soon as possible you send
this
laptop
 to my
company
 so that my staff can work so well . I look forward to hearing from you. your
sincerwly
Correct your spelling
sincerely
bagong
Change the capitalization
Bagong
show examples
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on

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task achievement
Be clear and concise in describing the equipment problem. Specific details help the reader understand the issue better.
coherence and cohesion
Structure your letter more clearly by organizing it into paragraphs, each with a specific point: the problem, the impact, and the desired solution.
task achievement
Use a more formal tone suitable for communication with a business. Avoid colloquial language and ensure correct spelling and grammar.
task achievement
You effectively communicated the urgency of the situation, emphasizing the need for a quick response.
task achievement
You made a clear request for what you want the shop or company to do, which is crucial for effective communication.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • malfunction
  • warranty
  • technical support
  • disruption
  • productivity
  • defective
  • turnaround time
  • customer satisfaction
  • troubleshooting
  • inconvenience
  • repair service
  • replacement unit
  • defect
  • urgency
  • compensation
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