You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you for your job. Write a letter to the shop or company to witch supplied the equipment. In your letter -describe the problem with the equipment -explain how this problem is affecting your work -say what to want the shop or the company to do

#work #home #piece #equipment #job #shop #company #witch #-describe #-explain #-say

Dear manager I am writing

this

letter regarding that we have a problem with a piece of

equitment

Correct your spelling

equipment

in my

company

. I want

order

Add the particle

to order

show examples

one

laptop

as soon as you

must

Verb problem

apply

show examples

send

this

mouse

Correct your spelling

first

firts

Correct your spelling

First

of all, I have a problem

about

Change preposition

with

show examples

laptop

Correct article usage

a laptop

show examples

in my

company

new

Correct article usage

a new

show examples

staff

make

Wrong verb form

made

show examples

mistake

Correct article usage

a mistake

show examples

have fall

Wrong verb form

fell

show examples

this

laptop

until broke and can not use to well

however

, please you fast

respon

Correct your spelling

response

respond

this

problem so that my

company

can

oprasinal

Correct your spelling

operational

again and new staff can work again I hope as soon as possible you send

this

laptop

to my

company

so that my staff can work so well . I look forward to hearing from you. your

sincerwly

Correct your spelling

sincerely

bagong

Change the capitalization

Bagong

show examples

Submitted by patricius.yohanes on Tue May 07 2024

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task achievement

Be clear and concise in describing the equipment problem. Specific details help the reader understand the issue better.

coherence and cohesion

Structure your letter more clearly by organizing it into paragraphs, each with a specific point: the problem, the impact, and the desired solution.

task achievement

Use a more formal tone suitable for communication with a business. Avoid colloquial language and ensure correct spelling and grammar.

task achievement

You effectively communicated the urgency of the situation, emphasizing the need for a quick response.

task achievement

You made a clear request for what you want the shop or company to do, which is crucial for effective communication.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

115 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

malfunction
warranty
technical support
disruption
productivity
defective
turnaround time
customer satisfaction
troubleshooting
inconvenience
repair service
replacement unit
defect
urgency
compensation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Across the world, local shops are closing due to losing customers to online competitors. What problems does this produce? And what solutions can you suggest to overcome them?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people claim that it is acceptable to use animals in medical research for the benefit of human beings, while others argue that it is wrong. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Levels of consumer debt are increasing across the world. To address this, a new subject should be introduced in secondary schools: how to manage personal finances. To what extent do you agree with this statement?