IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People nowadays prefer to interact online (e.g. do shopping, chat with friends) rather than talking to other people face-to-face. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?

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Currently,
people
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 would rather socialize online,
such
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 as shopping and chatting, than have an interaction with other
people
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 in person. In
this
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 essay, I would like to explain why it is perceived as a negative development and
why
Rephrase
apply
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the reasons for
this
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 argument. Most
people
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 tend to communicate with others online because it
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 them flexibility.
For example
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, if they have several meetings or appointments in a metropolitan city, which has high traffic, they will spend a lot of
time
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 on the road. So, it will be not efficient.
Therefore
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, interacting online using a meeting application is very helpful for busy
people
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.
In addition
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, buying daily needs or other things through a marketplace website
also
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 will give a big benefit to
people
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.
Besides
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 the fact that sellers can send paid products to buyers, online shopping can
also
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 save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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time
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 because they can compare one thing with others in several shops at a
time
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.
Consequently
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, many
people
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 can make use of the saving
time
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 to do other activities.
Although
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 it has many benefits, having an addiction to online interaction
such
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 as social media will have a negative impact.
For instance
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, it will impact
people
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's mental health because as a social creature,
people
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 still need conventional communication in person to fulfil their mental health. Sometimes, doing screening
time
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in
Change preposition
for
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 a long
time
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 can become a stressor for some
people
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. In conclusion, interaction online
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 many benefits for
people
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, especially making
people
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 more flexible.
However
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, I remain convinced that it
also
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 has a negative side for some
people
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.
Therefore
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,
people
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 have to be wiser for that habit.

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development of ideas
Try to expand on your ideas with more detailed examples and explanations to enhance clarity and depth.
cohesion
Consider adding some transitional phrases to smooth the flow between paragraphs and ideas.
task response balance
Ensure your essay addresses all parts of the prompt evenly to maintain a balanced discussion.
structure
Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
sentence variety
You've effectively used a mix of complex sentence structures, which positively affects your coherence and cohesion score.
task achievement
Your essay successfully addresses the topic and provides a reasoned argument, reflecting good task achievement.
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