Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is a well-established fact that fields like medicine, transport systems and communications mostly depend on computer
technology
, and
this
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
created a dangerous situation for us. I personally believe that
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
of using
technology
outweigh its disadvantages. There are two principal reasons for
this
. One point that I believe to be absolutely pivotal is the fact that computers helped to improve scientific fields a
lot
, and scientists work on treating other diseases, too. As an example, a
lot
of incurable
disease
Change to a plural noun
diseases
show examples
are now treated by medical workers, and
this
would be impossible to do without the advancements of
technology
. Adding
further
credibility to the statement brings to an idea of the fact that new means of transport are in use now, like
high speed
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high-speed
show examples
trains.
Also
, it is worth
to mention
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mentioning
show examples
that the majority of transportation is becoming more and more environmentally friendly. Turning to the other side of the argument, it is possible that more
people
are feeling lonely and depressed because they rely on
technology
a
lot
. What I mean by
this
is that
less
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fewer
show examples
people
are now capable
to live
Change preposition
of living
show examples
in the present because they spend a
lot
of time
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the computer, and
due to
this
reason
Add a comma
reason,
show examples
their perception of time differs. Time passes for them way faster than for
people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
live their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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fully To put it in a nutshell, by taking into account all the above-mentioned reasons, I once again reaffirm my position that
people
rely on computer
technology
a
lot
, but it does not harm them.
Submitted by Ayan on

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introduction conclusion
Ensure that your introduction more precisely outlines your argument and that your conclusion definitively summarizes your viewpoint.
supported main points
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. While the general statements are strong, concrete examples will strengthen your position.
complete response
Consider discussing the potential drawbacks of technology in more depth to provide a balanced viewpoint.
logical structure
Your essay is logically structured, making it easy to follow your argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
You effectively use technology's benefits in your argument, clearly articulating these advantages.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively reaffirms your position, which is a strong strategy in argumentative essays.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • reliance
  • cybersecurity
  • over-reliance
  • digital divide
  • data breach
  • cyberbullying
  • diagnostic machines
  • electronic health records
  • automated vehicles
  • predictive maintenance
  • real-time monitoring
  • vulnerability
  • misinformation
  • hacking
  • efficiency
  • navigation systems
  • traditional skills
  • system failures
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