The youth in many countries are unemployed and unskilled, while at the same time, the military services are in need of people. Compulsory military service is beneficial and necessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? e reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge rience. Write at least 250 words.

In many countries, adolescents are not employed and are deprived of skills.
However
, military
services
are looking for people to join
military
Add an article
the military
show examples
as it is mandatory to have military
services
. I agree with
this
statement. I will explain
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
and will give some relevant examples in upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
with,
due to
a large surge in universities, graduating thousands of students each year.
However
, they still are unable to find good
jobs
as they lack
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
needed skills which are required for
jobs
. As, a result, they remained unemployed.
On the other hand
,
although
, today's youth is unable to find desirable
jobs
, still they have some
jobs
such
as military
services
Fix the agreement mistake
service
show examples
which don't require any specific skill set to join.
Apart from
this
, joining
a military
Correct the article-noun agreement
military services
a military service
show examples
services
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can not only earn a good chunk of money but
also
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is a good opportunity to work for their communities.
Moreover
, our military
services
will have educated people who can contribute their knowledge to the country.
To sum up
, even though today's youngsters are struggling with unemployment, still they can join the army service to contribute
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
their country which is not only a good earning but
also
a good chance of serving
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the country.
Submitted by jassijaspreet153 on

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Introduction
Introduce your essay with a clearer, more engaging statement that directly addresses the topic to grab the reader's attention.
Coherence
Ensure your argument progresses logically, with each paragraph smoothly transitioning to the next. This can be enhanced by using a wider variety of linking words.
Supporting Examples
Deepen your argument with more detailed examples. While the general points are good, specific instances or statistics could strengthen your position.
Conclusion
Conclude your essay with a stronger restatement of your perspective. Summarize your main points to reiterate and reinforce your argument to the reader.
Opinion Consistency
You've clearly taken a stance and articulated your opinion throughout the essay, maintaining a consistent perspective.
Relevance to Task
Your ideas are relevant and you've made an effort to relate them directly to the question, showing good task understanding.
Structure
The essay structure is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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