IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The two pie charts shows the employment pattern in great Britain in 1992

The two pie charts shows the employment pattern in great Britain in 1992
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The two pie charts below illustrate the pattern of employment in 1992 in the area called Great Britain.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 there is a comparison between
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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 and there are two categories
such
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 as manual which involves craft
andgeneral
Correct your spelling
and general
 labourers, meanwhile non-manual consists of managerial, clerical and professional. Women had more work in manual and
vise
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vice
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 versa,
while
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man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
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 had only in
non- manual
Correct your spelling
non-manual
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.
Firstly
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, in
females
Correct article usage
the females
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 chart it is obvious that the top-ranked is related which is ahd 31%,
whereas
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 general labourers had only 1% which means it is the lowest one. Other categories had shown 3% and 27%.
Secondly
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, in males, labourers had one more per cent more by demonstrating 2%.
Hence
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, the
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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huge one is managerial as it has
total
Correct article usage
a total
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36
Change preposition
of 36
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%. Boys had more workers in professional .

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 83%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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