IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

you have been offered a job that will require you to move to a city that you have never visited before. You have a friend who lives there. Write a letter to your friend. in your letter. -explain your situation. -say why you feel unsure about living in the city. -ask some questions about life in the city.

#job #move #city #friend #lives #-explain #situation #-say #-ask #questions #life
Dear John, I hope you and the family are in the pink of health. I am writing
this
 letter to seek your advice about moving to
brisbane
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Brisbane
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 for
job
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the job
a job
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. I have received
job
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a job
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 offer from Clark and Connor LLC as
system
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a system
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 engineer. I have heard many stories about crimes in downtown
Brisbane
 after 6 pm. I am unsure about
quality
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the quality
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 of life in
Brisbane
.
As
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apply
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I am confused
whether
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about whether
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 to accept the offer or reject it.
Furthermore
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Furthermore,
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 rentals in good suburbs are
sky rocketing
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skyrocketing
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 high. Please advise me about
quality
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the quality
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 of life from crimes and
cost
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the cost
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 of living in
Brisbane
. As you are
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a localite
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localite
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locality
 you have
pretty
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a pretty
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 good idea about city culture and quality of life with
regards
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regard
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 to housing rent,
crime
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and crime
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 reports across
Brisbane
. please guide me
whether
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on whether
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 to take that job or reject it. As I am unsure about
city
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the city
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 of
Brisbane
. I am hoping for
quick
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the quick
a quick
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 reply. Cheers, JIM
Submitted by yash334 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your letter addresses all parts of the task in a clear and well-structured manner. You've done well to include personal concerns and queries, but adding more detail about the job and its implications could make your response even more compelling.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your letter flows nicely from one idea to the next, which is great. For an even stronger structure, you could consider using more varied sentence structures and transitions to guide the reader through your letter more smoothly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your letter has a clear structure, separating your current situation, concerns, and questions effectively.
Task Achievement
You've maintained a suitable tone throughout the letter, which fits the informal context of writing to a friend.

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