IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The plans below show the layout of a university's sports center now, and how it will look after redevelopment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #layout #university #sports #center #redevelopment #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The data shows a comparison between a
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
center’s
Change the spelling
centre’s
show examples
 current setup and how it will be redesigned in the future.
Overall
, the
sports
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 will have a larger size and
in addition
, various additional features and facilities will be added to it. In the future, the facilities in the main area of the
sports
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 will still be kept by the university,
for instance
, there will be no alteration towards the position of the 25-meter swimming pool, seating and main reception.
However
, the gym will be slightly expanded to allow more people to come and there will
also
 be two additional changing rooms outside of the current main area. The major remodel will be for the outdoor courts which are currently located on the left and right side of the main area. First of all, these courts will be removed so that the main building
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 be enlarged.
Furthermore
, the left-side outdoor court will be replaced with a leisure pool and a
sports
 shop
while
 the other court will be substituted with a
sports
 hall, two dance studios and a cafe.
Submitted by sormindevina on

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Introduction & Transition
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the comparison between the current and future layouts of the university's sports center. To enhance clarity, consider a clearer transition between the overview and the detailed comparison sections.
Detail & Balance
You've done well in maintaining a logical flow throughout the description, mapping the current features to their future counterparts. For improvement, ensure to uniformly address each area with the same level of detail to avoid any perception of imbalance.
Conclusion
Your conclusion could be enhanced by summarizing the key changes more succinctly and reflecting on their potential impact or benefit to the university. This would provide a rounded finish to your report.
Comparison
Successfully portrays the comparative aspect of the sports center's redevelopment, aiding in reader comprehension.
Specific Examples
Good use of specific examples to outline the changes in the sports center, providing concrete details that enrich the report.
Structure & Coherence
Maintains a coherent structure which aids in the essay's readability and overall effectiveness.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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