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Band 4.5

The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000 Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000 Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
#show #percentages #men #women #employment #four #countries #summaries #information #features #comparison
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The given figure illustrates the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of men and women who are in
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
 group of 60 to 64 in employment in four different
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
 in the years 1970 and 2000 . It has been observed that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Japan had the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
employement
Correct your spelling
employment
 in both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
years
whereas
Linking Words
 Belgium had decreased drastically and in the case of Australia and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 they had decreased a little bit . In the case of Japan it had 84% in the year 1970 but declined to 76% in 2000 which is still
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 when compared to the other nations
on the other hand
Linking Words
 Belgium had 79% in 1970 but it declined by 60% by 2000 which is the least
percentage
Use synonyms
 of employment among all . Australia and USA had almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
 and differed by just 1% in the year 1970 but in
further
Linking Words
 years the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of Australia
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
declined to 47% in 2000 which
Add a missing verb
was comparitavely
show examples
comparitavely
Correct your spelling
comparatively
 less than
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 which had just decreased to 55% .
Submitted by hv10064 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Employment rate
  • Percentage
  • Significant increase/decrease
  • Fluctuation
  • Gender disparity
  • Trend
  • Decline
  • Improvement
  • Variation
  • Noteworthy
  • Aligned
  • Comparative analysis
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