The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

#bar #percentage #australian #men #women #age #groups #activity #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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This

Linking Words

report derives from a bar chart which illustrates the Number of males and

femals

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females

from

diferent

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different

generatia

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generation

generate

Correct pronoun usage

who do

show examples

Wrong verb form

did

show examples

Some exercise for

thier

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their

body they

live

Wrong verb form

lived

show examples

in Australia in 2010 .

Overall

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, There was

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

different age groups from 15 to 65

andover

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and over

Andover

According to

Linking Words

Correct article usage

the data

show examples

data

Add a comma

data,

show examples

It is clear that

Linking Words

the

men

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have

Correct your spelling

the

highest percentage of all the dye

exsert

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except

show examples

the age

Change preposition

of 15

show examples

to 24 the

women

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was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

the

highat

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highest

one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

. to

compering

Verb problem

compare

show examples

with

men

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and

women

Use synonyms

underage is to 24 the

women

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have 52.8 .

while

Linking Words

men

Use synonyms

47.7 from the other side of the graph , the

men

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and there was almost

etule

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equal

between

men

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and

women

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underage

Correct your spelling

under age

show examples

65 and over we saw the a slightly different which is just 0.1 Percent .

Moreover

Linking Words

, the group of Age between

men

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and

women

Use synonyms

from 25 to 34 Wen had 48.4

while

Linking Words

women

Use synonyms

had 42.2. On the final note of Comparison ,

Women

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and

men

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from 35 until 64 the

men

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Who doing regular Phosical

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

more than

Women

Use synonyms

Submitted by fahadsalem169 on Fri May 10 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.

▼

Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women with synonyms.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

172 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Percentage
Australian men
Australian women
Age groups
Regular physical activity
Participated
Increased
Decreased
Proportion
Physically active
Gender difference
Engaged
Exercise

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The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think this can have negative effects on children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past, do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that university students should be required to attend classes. Others believe that going to classes should be optional for students. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is still a certain section of the society which lives under poverty despite the fact that countries where people belonging to this section live are becoming richer.Why do you think this happens and what can wealthy societies do to help their poorer members?

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future.