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Writing Samples
Band 4

The three pie charts show the proportion of four kinds of vehicles used in the UK in 1996, 1985 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The three pie charts show the proportion of four kinds of vehicles used in the UK in 1996, 1985 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#three #show #proportion #four #kinds #vehicles #uk #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given pie charts
Correct your spelling
illustrate
illustate
Correct your spelling
illustrate
 the percentage of four different
vehicles
Use synonyms
 being used in the UK in 1965 , 1985 and 2005
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be observed that private cars outweighed the total
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of remaining types of
vehicles
Use synonyms
 except for the
year
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1965 which saw the opposite pattern .
Additionally
Linking Words
 , the recycled
vehicles
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 seen to be used least throughout the period ,
whereas
Linking Words
 the private ones had the most . With regards to the
year
Use synonyms
 where the commercial
vehicles
Use synonyms
 accounted for only a fifth . As for 1965 , 40%
cars
Change preposition
of cars
show examples
 being
drived
Correct your spelling
driven
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the private ones that doubled the
recreational
Correct quantifier usage
number of recreational
show examples
vehicles
Use synonyms
 ( 18% ) . Meanwhile , the public transport consisted of a quarter in
this
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
 . Taking a look at 1985 , over
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of
transportation
Correct article usage
the transportation
show examples
 being used in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 was still
privatecar
Correct your spelling
private car
 that was 10 times more than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recreational
vehicles
Use synonyms
 .
Likewise
Linking Words
 , the commercial and public transport shared a balance by
similarly
Linking Words
 making up at exactly 20% Turning to the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
year
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2005 . Spending focus on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public transport ,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 accounted for just over 20% which was just a third of private cars ( 60% ) ,
whereas
Linking Words
 both commercial and recreational
vehicles
Use synonyms
 saw
Correct your spelling
around
aroud
Correct your spelling
around
 10%
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words vehicles, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Proportion
  • Dominant
  • Fluctuations
  • Noticeable increase
  • Significantly decreased
  • Consistent rise
  • Continuous decline
  • Varied trends
  • Data illustrates
  • Common vehicle type
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