Today more and more people want things instantly (e.g. goods, services, news). Why is it this? Is it positive or negative development?
In
this
digitalized era, having instant food is not only the desire Linking Words
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
has
achievedCorrect subject-verb agreement
have
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the desires
desires
Correct subject-verb agreement
desire
direct
news and goods. Change preposition
for direct
This
is Linking Words
due to
the need Linking Words
of catching
up-to-date trends as a way to adapt Change preposition
to catch
in
the swiftly-changed world. Despite the benefits of not being old-fashioned Change preposition
to
as well as
other purposes, Linking Words
this
improvement still has an impact on the financial term.
It is undeniable that it is hard to catch up with the latest fashion currentlyLinking Words
,
when a well—known product Remove the comma
apply
was
just at the peak of Correct pronoun usage
that was
the
popularity for a year suddenly falls into the unknown. Getting an attractive item at that period is likely Correct article usage
apply
become
an impossible but Add the particle
to become
addicted
goal that people Replace the word
addictive
aims
Correct subject-verb agreement
aim
to
, resulting Change preposition
for
the
necessity of wanting an immediate object. Take Vietnam as a prime example, where the hand-smashed lemonade, just known Change preposition
in the
last
year, gradually appeals to every Vietnamese, and Linking Words
this
even leads to the newest “zipped-bag” version of it. Linking Words
Hence
, the need for something popular at the moment has caused an increase in Linking Words
instantly-received
orders.
Correct your spelling
instantly received
This
development brings visible advantages to human life. Thanks to Linking Words
this
, not only does a person prevent from being left behind Linking Words
of
the rapidly-altered world, but they Change preposition
in
also
partly boost their work or their shop’s reputation from the immediate information they have got. In the trademark, Linking Words
for instance
, having up-to-date news relevant to the trade plays a crucial role in making the decision of whether Linking Words
selling
, Change the verb form
to sell
buying
, or even Wrong verb form
buy
remaining
their goods, Verb problem
retain
therefore
giving them better Linking Words
earning
. Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
Besides
, the flaws brought Linking Words
from
Change preposition
by
this
are Linking Words
also
significant. As the immediate products eventually cost more than the usual ones, and similar to the news-purchasing extent, the instant receiving puts a certain strain on an individual’s economy, acquiring them to manage precisely so s to avoid the financial burdens.
Linking Words
To sum up
, the desire Linking Words
of getting
goods simultaneously derives from the necessity of having the latest objects, in order to obtain boons for personal work or own shop’s fame. Change preposition
to get
However
, without Linking Words
a
caution, Correct article usage
apply
this
can potentially cause a noticeable burden Linking Words
in
Change preposition
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
finance
.Fix the agreement mistake
finances
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coherence cohesion
You've done a good job with the structure of your essay, providing a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To enhance coherence, consider linking your ideas more explicitly and ensuring that each paragraph flows logically into the next.
task achievement
Try to include a wider range of examples to support your points better. While you've provided a strong example with the 'hand-smashed lemonade' trend in Vietnam, incorporating varying instances could strengthen your arguments and offer a more comprehensive view.
task achievement
Work on refining your idea development. While your main points are relevant, they could benefit from deeper analysis and more detailed explanations to thoroughly convince the reader of your stance.
task achievement
You effectively addressed the task, discussing both why this trend towards immediacy exists and its implications.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is commendably clear, with well-defined sections that guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are particularly strong, framing your topic well and providing a clear summary of your stance.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?