IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Today more and more people want things instantly (e.g. goods, services, news). Why is it this? Is it positive or negative development?

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In
this
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 digitalized era, having instant food is not only the desire
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 achieved
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but
also
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Correct article usage
the desires
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desires
Correct subject-verb agreement
desire
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direct
Change preposition
for direct
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 news and goods.
This
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 is
due to
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 the need
of catching
Change preposition
to catch
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 up-to-date trends as a way to adapt
in
Change preposition
to
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 the swiftly-changed world. Despite the benefits of not being old-fashioned
as well as
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 other purposes,
this
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 improvement still has an impact on the financial term. It is undeniable that it is hard to catch up with the latest fashion currently
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 when a well—known product
was
Correct pronoun usage
that was
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 just at the peak of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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popularity for a year suddenly falls into the unknown. Getting an attractive item at that period is likely
become
Add the particle
to become
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 an impossible but
addicted
Replace the word
addictive
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 goal that people
aims
Correct subject-verb agreement
aim
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to
Change preposition
for
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, resulting
the
Change preposition
in the
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 necessity of wanting an immediate object. Take Vietnam as a prime example, where the hand-smashed lemonade, just known
last
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 year, gradually appeals to every Vietnamese, and
this
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 even leads to the newest “zipped-bag” version of it.
Hence
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, the need for something popular at the moment has caused an increase in
instantly-received
Correct your spelling
instantly received
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 orders.
This
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 development brings visible advantages to human life. Thanks to
this
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, not only does a person prevent from being left behind
of
Change preposition
in
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 the rapidly-altered world, but they
also
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 partly boost their work or their shop’s reputation from the immediate information they have got. In the trademark,
for instance
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, having up-to-date news relevant to the trade plays a crucial role in making the decision of whether
selling
Change the verb form
to sell
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,
buying
Wrong verb form
buy
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, or even
remaining
Verb problem
retain
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 their goods,
therefore
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 giving them better
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
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.
Besides
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, the flaws brought
from
Change preposition
by
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this
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 are
also
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 significant. As the immediate products eventually cost more than the usual ones, and similar to the news-purchasing extent, the instant receiving puts a certain strain on an individual’s economy, acquiring them to manage precisely so s to avoid the financial burdens.
To sum up
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, the desire
of getting
Change preposition
to get
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 goods simultaneously derives from the necessity of having the latest objects, in order to obtain boons for personal work or own shop’s fame.
However
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, without
a
Correct article usage
apply
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caution,
this
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 can potentially cause a noticeable burden
in
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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finance
Fix the agreement mistake
finances
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.

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coherence cohesion
You've done a good job with the structure of your essay, providing a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To enhance coherence, consider linking your ideas more explicitly and ensuring that each paragraph flows logically into the next.
task achievement
Try to include a wider range of examples to support your points better. While you've provided a strong example with the 'hand-smashed lemonade' trend in Vietnam, incorporating varying instances could strengthen your arguments and offer a more comprehensive view.
task achievement
Work on refining your idea development. While your main points are relevant, they could benefit from deeper analysis and more detailed explanations to thoroughly convince the reader of your stance.
task achievement
You effectively addressed the task, discussing both why this trend towards immediacy exists and its implications.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is commendably clear, with well-defined sections that guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are particularly strong, framing your topic well and providing a clear summary of your stance.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Instant gratification
  • Technological advancements
  • Consumer expectations
  • Same-day delivery
  • Streaming platforms
  • Information overload
  • Decision fatigue
  • Environmental implications
  • Societal implications
  • Resource depletion
  • Marketing strategies
  • Consumer satisfaction
  • Quality of life
What to do next:
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