IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Today more and more people want things instantly (eg. goods , services , news ) Why is this ? It is positve or negative development?

#people #eg #goods #services #news #positve #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
News
along with
Linking Words
 goods are increasingly needed to
delivery
Replace the word
deliver
show examples
 in little or no
time
Use synonyms
. The writer believes
this
Linking Words
 roots from the undesired
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
wait and has
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 impact on human society as it improves current technology. It must be understood that the
time
Use synonyms
 requirement for service is more and more shorter and even
instant
Correct quantifier usage
more instant
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 impatience to wait. To explain plainly, people of contemporary society have several leisure activities which are enlarged when humans get aged
although
Linking Words
 the
time
Use synonyms
 budget is still 24 hours a day on account of better accessibility.
As a result
Linking Words
, human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
has
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 to arrange a schedule with
scarcity
Add an article
the scarcity
a scarcity
show examples
 of
time
Use synonyms
 for each
interests
Change to a singular noun
interest
show examples
, forcing waiting for certain needs
become
Fix the infinitive
to become
show examples
 an exclusive feature of people’s lives. Take Vietnam as a typical example, a survey found that 90% of customers of Shopee, an online shopping
web
Correct your spelling
website
show examples
, will choose a type of transportation that has less delivery
time
Use synonyms
 even if it is not
cost effective
Add a hyphen
cost-effective
show examples
. One of the core benefits of
this
Linking Words
 trend is that technology has an opportunity to thrive. That
Linking Words
due
Add a missing verb
is due
show examples
 to the fact that as humanity wants more items and utilities to be served immediately, trucks,
for instance
Linking Words
, need to
has
Change the verb
have
show examples
 adept combustion engines and satellite navigation
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 to travel faster and information providers
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 to update their
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 to receive and transmit data
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 an extraordinary rate. In conclusion, the demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 shorter
time
Use synonyms
 in terms of transmission and transporting of the present community stems from the current expectation of short waiting
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and will improve
human’s
Change noun form
human
show examples
 technology in both speed and quality.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Idea Development
Consider expanding on how the need for instant services affects society beyond technological advancements, perhaps exploring social, economic, or psychological impacts.
Example Specificity
Work on developing your main points with more specific examples and clearer explanations to strengthen your argument.
Logical Flow
Try to ensure that your essay maintains a clear and logical progression of ideas. Using transitional phrases can help improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Grammar & Style
Review your essay for minor grammatical errors and strive for variety in sentence structure to enhance readability.
Introduction/Conclusion
You've done well to introduce and conclude your essay, effectively framing your main arguments.
Example Use
Good job including an example to support your argument, although more specificity could further strengthen your point.
Understanding
You've demonstrated an understanding of the question by acknowledging both the cause and impact of the trend toward immediacy.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: