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Band 6

The line graph shows the percentages of Australian export with four countries. The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012

The line graph shows the percentages of Australian export with four countries. The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012
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The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012 You should write at least 150 words. The line graph demonstrates the percentage of goods transported from Australia to overseas,
Japan
Use synonyms
, the US,
China
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, and
India
Use synonyms
 over two decades from 1990.
Overall
Linking Words
, as can be seen, there were upward trends in selling goods to
China
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 and
India
Use synonyms
 within twenty-two
years
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,
while
Linking Words
 decreased exportation to
Japan
Use synonyms
 and the US was shown in the graph. Another interesting point is that the most amount of commodities were conveyed to
Japan
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 in 1990.
However
Linking Words
,
China
Use synonyms
 took the first place of importation from Australia in 2012. Australian export with
Japan
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 was over 25 per
cent
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 in 1990.
Then
Linking Words
, it dropped by 5 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in about 5
years
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 and remained just under 20 per
cent
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 over approximately 15
years
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. The exportation to the US was about 12 per
cent
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 in 1990. It fell just below 10 per
cent
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 in 5
years
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 and
then
Linking Words
 increased to the previous amount in the same period. But it decreased again over 12
years
Use synonyms
 by 5 percent.
China
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 and
India
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 had the lowest amount of imports from Australia; about 2 and 1 percent respectively.
However
Linking Words
, the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of exports to
Japan
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 increased steadily to 5 times more in over twenty
years
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 and it turned to over 5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
India
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, china, india, years, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Line graph
  • Percentage
  • Exports
  • Trend analysis
  • Upward/downward trend
  • Fluctuation
  • Comparison
  • Peak performance
  • Decline
  • Stability
  • Significant
  • Inferred
  • Global events
  • Economic context
  • Reflect
  • Influence
  • Patterns
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