IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows of expeditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009.

The bar chart below shows of expeditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009.
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The given bar graph illustrates information about
proportions
Correct article usage
the proportions
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 of costs for different categories,
such
Linking Words
 as food, housing facilities, transportation, health care and clothing. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective it is apparently seen that the most significant facts are housing was the most costly category in all the given countries, and
healthcare
Correct article usage
the healthcare
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 and clothing
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
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 had tiny numbers in terms of expenditure.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
while
Linking Words
 the indicator of housing facilities was over 20% in all countries, that of transportation was around 20% in the US and Canada and under 15% in the UK and Japan, in 2009. Regarding food, health care and clothing,
although
Linking Words
 the figure for food was under 15% in the United States and Canada, that of the United Kingdom and Japan accounted for over 20%. The healthcare sector and clothing did not contain
considerable
Add an article
a considerable
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 number (under 8%).

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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