IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

TODAY MORE AND MORE PEOPLE WANT THINGS INSTANTLY(E.G : GOODS, SERVICE, NEWS). WHY IS THIS? IS IT POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT?

#people #e #g #goods #service #news #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
THE MODERN WORLD IS CHARACTERIZED BY A GROWING DEMAND FOR INSTANT GRATIFICATION. PEOPLE WANT GOODS, SERVICES, AND NEWS AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. IT IS IMPORTANT TO CONSIDER WHETHER
THIS
 IS A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT. FIRST OF ALL, A LOT OF INDIVIDUALS NOWADAYS WOULD LIKE TO GET THEIR JOBS DONE FASTER BECAUSE OF THEIR BUSY LIFESTYLES SO THEY ARE MORE LIKELY TO EXPECT MOST TASKS DONE INSTANTLY. THE MORE PEOPLE HAVE A BUSY LIFESTYLE IN THE MODERN WORLD, THE MORE THEY CHOOSE ALL TASKS TO DO INSTANTLY.
FURTHERMORE
, I WOULD ARGUE THAT INSTANT GRATIFICATION SHOULD RENDERED AS ADVERSE AS IT CAN LEAD TO A THROW-AWAY CULTURE.
THIS
 IS IN TURN, A GREAT THREAT TO ENVIRONMENT. BECAUSE THEY CAN HARDLY FIND ITEMS CONTINUOUSLY ENJOYABLE IF THEY CAN GAT WHAT THEY WANT INSTANTANEOUSLY.
TO SUM UP
, EASY ACCESS LEADS PEOPLE TO INSTANT CONTENTMENT,
WHEREAS
 I THINK THAT IT IS A NEGATIVE TREND AS IT CAN LEAD TO DEGRADATION OF THE ENVIRONMENT AND IMPATIENCE
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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments. For example, mention specific services or goods that people want instantly and how this desire impacts behavior and the environment.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main point that supports the thesis statement. In your essay, the main points are a bit repetitive and could be more distinct.
task achievement
Check for minor grammatical errors and word choice improvements. For instance, 'rendered as adverse' should be 'rendered as adverse effects' and 'hardly find items continuously enjoyable' should be 'find it hard to continuously enjoy items.'
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This provides a clear framework for your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay and states a clear stance on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant gratification
  • digital platforms
  • fast-paced lifestyle
  • precious commodity
  • e-commerce platforms
  • 24/7 news cycles
  • accessibility
  • consumer behavior
  • efficiency
  • productivity
  • delayed gratification
  • pressure
  • advent
What to do next:
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