IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Today more and more people want things instantly ( e.g.: goods, service, news ). Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?

#people #e #g #goods #service #news #development
In
this
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apply
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today's digital era, there is an ever-growing desire for instant gratification across various aspects of life, including the acquisition of goods,
service
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services
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, and news. In my viewpoint,
this
 is a result of advancements in technology, changes in lifestyle, and evolving societal expectations,
whereas
,
this
 improvement is
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a decidely
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decidely
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decidedly
 negative problem. There are many aspects of life
causing
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that cause
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 instant
requirement
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requirements
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.
Firstly
, technology has been improved by broadening the horizon, which
contribute
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contributes
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convenient
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convenience
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 to
people
's
requirement
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requirements
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 leading to wanting things instantly. Take Grab as a primary example, which has been known as
an
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a
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 high-tech application, thereby, most
of
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apply
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dwellers will use it to order food or book vehicles immediately.
Secondly
, changes in lifestyle are the other crucial points. When
COVID-19
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the COVID-19
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 pandemic
exploding
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in 2020 lasted for a long time,
people
 only stayed at home and used online social media for all their activities. Watching reels and
review
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reviewing
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film
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films
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 has become one of the most
entertainment
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entertaining
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 and they just want to know the content of
movie
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movies
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 quickly.
However
, it is recognized that
this
 statement is a negative development. To explain,
people
 take their priority seriously
due to
 fulfilling the instant requirement,
as
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and as
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the
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a
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 result, it will be forgettable.
According to
 Bao Thanh Nien News, most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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netizens, especially teenagers, have tended to watch a cut of
film
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the film
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 and
then
they
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apply
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forget quickly.
In addition
, if
this
 development has
impact
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an impact
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 on young
people
, they will grow in an immoral way. In case, most
of
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apply
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people
 are waiting in line with the condition that there is one person who does not have enough patience, they will queue. Taking everything into account,
this
 statement has derived from changes in lifestyle, advancements in technology and even evolving societal expectations. It is a disadvantage but
maybe
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may be
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 an advantage if
people
 understand what is true.
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task achievement
While the essay presents a clear stance on the topic, there are some inaccuracies and ambiguous expressions that can confuse readers. Aim to clarify your points and use precise language.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point in your argument is fully developed and adequately supported by relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the transitions between your points to make your essay flow more smoothly.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively, offering both reasons for why people seek instant gratification and discussing whether it is a positive or negative development.
coherence cohesion
There is a well-defined introduction and conclusion that frame the essay nicely.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the mention of Grab and the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic, helps to illustrate the main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant gratification
  • digital platforms
  • fast-paced lifestyle
  • precious commodity
  • e-commerce platforms
  • 24/7 news cycles
  • accessibility
  • consumer behavior
  • efficiency
  • productivity
  • delayed gratification
  • pressure
  • advent
What to do next:
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