IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

it's preferable to pay with credit cards instead of cash. do you agree or disagree? give reasons to support your opinion.

#credit #cards #cash #support
It's preferable to pay with
credit
 cards
instead
 of
cash
, many
people
 have switched their payment method from
cash
 to
credit
card
, but is it a positive or negative thing? In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will talk about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
credit
card
Fix the agreement mistake
cards
show examples
 and why
people
 like to pay with
credit
card
Fix the agreement mistake
cards
show examples
instead
 of
cash
, well we'll see if it's something bad or good. In the past
people
was take
Wrong verb form
took
show examples
 their own wallet with them
every where
Correct your spelling
everywhere
show examples
 they
go
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
 and it was hard to keep
money
 in a safe place,
also
 it was scary to take a lot of
money
 with you if you
want
Wrong verb form
wanted
show examples
 to go buy something
expansive
Correct your spelling
expensive
show examples
 because there is a chance that you will be robbed. But in the current
era
Add a comma
era,
show examples
 a lot of
people
 replaced
cash
 with
credit
Add an article
a credit
show examples
card
Fix the agreement mistake
cards
show examples
 and there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 many reasons for
this
, first it so easy to take your
credit
card
 with you wherever you
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
go just you can keep it in your pocket as
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
small
card
money
 will never change the
card
 weight whatever it was a few or a lot, in same time
credit
Add an article
a credit
the credit
show examples
card
 is more secure than
cash
 since every
card
 has a password and if
some one
Correct your spelling
someone
show examples
 stole your
card
 you can call the bank and stop the
card
 easily so it's not easy to get robbed.
Finally
, the
credit
card
 is one of the
most good
Change the adjective
best
show examples
 things
people
made
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 because it literally helps in different cases,
while
 it's more secure,
Correct word choice
and more
show examples
more light
Replace the words
lighter
show examples
 than
cash
 so it's good to keep your
money
 in
bank
Add an article
the bank
show examples
 and use
credit
Add an article
a credit
show examples
card
instead
 of
cash
.
Submitted by fadhool200430 on

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task achievement
Your essay covers the main points of the topic, but it could be more comprehensive. Try to expand on your ideas with more specific examples and thorough explanations.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-organized, but the transitions between ideas could be smoother. Using linking words and phrases can help improve the flow of your writing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure you have a clear and concise introduction and conclusion. Your introduction should briefly outline your main points, and your conclusion should succinctly summarize these points and restate your position.
task achievement
You have successfully highlighted key points about the security and convenience of credit cards over cash.
coherence cohesion
Your essay generally follows a logical structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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