Some people argue that job satisfaction is more important than a high salary. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the given statement?
It is claimed by some
individuals
that job
satisfaction
is a more notable factor than a high income
. I disagree with this
statement, there are several main reasons, such
as getting something which is wanted and new opportunities for improvement, they will be discussed in this
essay.
The main reason for more importance of having a high salary
is that people can buy whatever they want. Money
plays a significant role in people’s lives. To elaborate, most individuals
desire to meet their needs, thus
having a high income
is able to help coming true
their dreams. Verb problem
achieve
For instance
, sometimes the
expensive products, Correct article usage
apply
such
as shoes, bags, and clothes, can be desirable by individuals
, they
need Correct word choice
but they
to
a lot of Change preposition
apply
money
to get these products. Therefore
, earning highly
Change the adverb
high
income
is more important than having job
satisfaction
.
In terms of the other reason, a high salary
are
capable of providing opportunities for personal and professional growth, Correct subject-verb agreement
is
such
as investing in further
education and skill development. To be more specific, individuals
getting high salaries have the potential learning
new knowledge thanks to a high Change the verb form
to learn
salary
, not job
satisfaction
in the future. For example
, people acquiring new knowledge can earn more money
, if a part of money
is allocated for their development. As a result
, a high income
has the opportunity to obtain this
improvement. Hence
, getting a high salary
is more essential than being pleased with a job
.
To conclude
, even though it is assumed that job
satisfaction
is more crucial than having a high salary
by some people, however
, in my opinion, a high salary
is more important for acquiring the
expensive products and new chances.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by quluzadenurlan107 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear structure with logical progression of ideas. Breaking your argument into separate paragraphs for each point can help.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition and redundancy. Ensure each sentence contributes new information or builds on a previous point.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to illustrate points. Claims such as 'people acquiring new knowledge can earn more money' could be made clearer with real-world examples.
task achievement
Address counterarguments briefly to show a well-rounded discussion. This demonstrates deeper engagement with the topic.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly presents the essay's stance and outlines the main points that will be discussed.
introduction conclusion present
Conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments and reiterates the writer's stance.
supported main points
The essay presents relevant points to support the central argument, such as the importance of high salaries for purchasing desired items and for personal/professional growth.
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