The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.
The figure down
exampes
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illustrates
the methods and tools
that
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apply
show examples
used in the
cement creating
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cement-creating
show examples
steps , and how
cement
is used to maling concrete for building purposes . Both
cement
and concrete
production
are used in structure , we can find it from sand and stones from mounten . Both have several steps to produce the material which can be
stronge
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strong
stronger
material can used
in
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for
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many purposes for
buliding
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building
.
Such
as
,
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apply
show examples
Bridge
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bridges
show examples
,
wall
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walls
show examples
,
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and foundation
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foundation
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foundations
show examples
. the
cement
production
stages
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stage
show examples
it
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apply
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start after
buring
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burying
the sand material from
natureal
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natural
, we
have
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apply
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mix the limestone and clay together , after that
cruch
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crunch
crush
it
to
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into
show examples
small
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a small
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,
aterial
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material
called powder
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and
amd
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and
mix it with
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rotating
rooting
rotting
rototing
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a rototing
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heater
then
sepored
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reported
separated
deported
to by
grinder
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a grinder
show examples
to get the final shape for material
cahhed
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cached
'
cement
' after
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that
thate
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thate,
show examples
it is ready to put
it
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apply
show examples
in bags to sell
it
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apply
show examples
in the market . the concrete
production
start
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starts
show examples
after
finsh
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finishing
all
cement
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the cement
show examples
stages and
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
cement
, you put 15% from
cement
with
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apply
show examples
10% from water and 25%from sand .
Finally
, put 50%from gravel . put all those
material
Fix the agreement mistake
materials
show examples
together in
concrete
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a concrete
show examples
mixer and mix it , you will get the final
produce
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product
show examples
called ' concrete
production
'. Note
: Gravel
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that gravel
is small stones
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the seventh paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cement, production with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the seventh paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • construction
  • cement-making
  • raw materials
  • crushing
  • mixing
  • heating
  • grinding
  • cement powder
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • concrete
  • versatility
  • strength
  • aggregate
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