IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows the production and processing of milk production for commercial sale. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the production and processing of milk production for commercial sale. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The process diagram illustrates the key process of
milk
Use synonyms
 production
as well as
Linking Words
 other
dairy
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
 for retail sale. In total, there are eight important stages which begin with a herd of
dairy
Use synonyms
 cows grazing on grass and end with the consumers buying the
dairy
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
 at supermarkets and shops. As mentioned above, the initial step is to let the cows graze on green pastures. Following that, the cows are taken from the pasture to a milking facility, wherein they are milked via means of an automatic milking machine twice a day. The ensuing
milk
Use synonyms
 is stored in massive refrigerated storage tanks.
Next,
Linking Words
the
milk
Use synonyms
 is regularly collected using a
milk
Use synonyms
 tanker and delivered to a
dairy
Use synonyms
 manufacturing facility, where additional processes are applied to it in order to produce various
dairy
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, some of the
milk
Use synonyms
 is pasteurized and packed for delivery,
while
Linking Words
 the remaining is made into cheese, cream, and butter, among other
dairy
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the processed
products
Use synonyms
 are delivered to shops and supermarkets where they can be purchased by the general public.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words milk, dairy, products with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: