nowadays many people have access to compters and a large number of children enjoy playing video games .what are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children?

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ln
this
Linking Words
modern world, human
life
Use synonyms
have
Verb problem
is
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supported by sophisticated technology and
comunication
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communication
communications
. Several
teenager
Change to a plural noun
teenagers
show examples
relatively 'easy' to use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tools
such
Linking Words
as computer
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
in their daily
life
Use synonyms
. ln a thriving technology situation,
have
Wrong verb form
having
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access
the
Change preposition
to the
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internet is not a fancy thing that have to do. The cost of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
is cheaper than in the past.
Subsquently
Correct your spelling
Subsequently
, almost
each
Correct determiner usage
every
show examples
section age of people can always use these
development
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developments
show examples
including
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adolescent
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
show examples
who like to play
computer-based
Add an article
the computer-based
a computer-based
show examples
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
in
a
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their
show examples
leisure time. In
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addition
adittion
Add a comma
adittion,
show examples
this
Linking Words
computer
aplicatione
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application
applications
not only being a simple thing but,
bing
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being
show examples
an
adiction
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addiction
in many cases.
To begin
Linking Words
with,
games
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from
internet
Add an article
the internet
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made
Add a missing verb
are made
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from
up-to date
Add a hyphen
up-to-date
show examples
tools in technology,
these
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which
show examples
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
that the fitures are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
and like an animated 3D or 4D which in real one diplay. Now, video
game
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games
show examples
have a goal that
user
Correct article usage
the user
show examples
must do a favour
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
fight for a mission or tackle
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
problem. Meanwhile,
Correct article usage
the uman
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uman
Correct your spelling
human
brain would triggered to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
make a plan to
takle th
Correct your spelling
tackle the
problem to win the play. Young
brain
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brains
show examples
who used to solve the issues would improve the intiligent because
the
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of the
show examples
conection
Correct your spelling
connection
in
brain-cell
Correct article usage
the brain-cell
show examples
of
Use synonyms
games
Correct article usage
the games
show examples
process.
Moreover
Linking Words
, numerous kids who like
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
habit used to know many cases
Change preposition
of problem
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
that must
to
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apply
show examples
choose to resolve in a
limit
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limited
show examples
time. These young people have an experience from these
games
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that an used in the future as a reference to
life
Use synonyms
as a civilian in society. It is a good impact that many many particular do not
enough
Add a missing verb
have enough
show examples
references in
life
Use synonyms
and do
know
Rephrase
not know
show examples
what to do to choose the right thing in daily activity. In the same way, the kids who are
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
to play
Change preposition
in playing
show examples
computer- based
Correct your spelling
computer-based
show examples
games
Use synonyms
win a
champion
Replace the word
championship
show examples
and can make
a
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apply
show examples
money as a hobby. In conclusion, being a player in
games
Use synonyms
would be a good
resources
Correct the article-noun agreement
resource
show examples
for
dothe
Correct your spelling
the
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on

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coherence cohesion
The essay needs a clearer organization with a more distinct introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and should be logically connected to build a strong argument.
task achievement
Some points are general and lack specific examples. Try to incorporate more concrete examples or citations to support your ideas. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
task achievement
Work on sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity. Make sure to proofread for typos and grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement and correct use of articles.
task achievement
The essay tackles both the advantages and disadvantages of video games, which shows a balanced perspective.
task achievement
The essay attempts to show the positive impacts of video games, such as improved problem-solving skills, which adds depth to the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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