nowadays many people have access to compters and a large number of children enjoy playing video games .what are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children?
ln
this
modern world, human life
have
supported by sophisticated technology and Verb problem
is
comunication
. Several Correct your spelling
communication
communications
teenager
relatively 'easy' to use Change to a plural noun
teenagers
the
tools Correct article usage
apply
such
as computer game
in their daily Fix the agreement mistake
games
life
.
ln a thriving technology situation, have
access Wrong verb form
having
the
internet is not a fancy thing that have to do. The cost of Change preposition
to the
internet
is cheaper than in the past. Correct article usage
the internet
Subsquently
, almost Correct your spelling
Subsequently
each
section age of people can always use these Correct determiner usage
every
development
including Fix the agreement mistake
developments
the
Correct article usage
apply
adolescent
who like to play Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
computer-based
Add an article
the computer-based
a computer-based
game
in Fix the agreement mistake
games
a
leisure time. In Change the word
their
Correct your spelling
addition
adittion
Add a comma
adittion,
this
computer aplicatione
not only being a simple thing but, Correct your spelling
application
applications
bing
an Correct your spelling
being
adiction
in many cases.
Correct your spelling
addiction
To begin
with, games
from internet
Add an article
the internet
made
from Add a missing verb
are made
up-to date
tools in technology, Add a hyphen
up-to-date
these
Correct pronoun usage
which
mean
that the fitures are Correct subject-verb agreement
means
the
new Correct article usage
apply
one
and like an animated 3D or 4D which in real one diplay. Now, video Correct pronoun usage
ones
game
have a goal that Fix the agreement mistake
games
user
must do a favour Correct article usage
the user
or
fight for a mission or tackle Correct word choice
apply
the
problem. Meanwhile, Correct article usage
a
Correct article usage
the uman
uman
brain would triggered to Correct your spelling
human
do
make a plan to Unnecessary verb
apply
takle th
problem to win the play. Young Correct your spelling
tackle the
brain
who used to solve the issues would improve the intiligent because Fix the agreement mistake
brains
the
Change preposition
of the
conection
in Correct your spelling
connection
brain-cell
of Correct article usage
the brain-cell
games
process.
Correct article usage
the games
Moreover
, numerous kids who like the
Remove the article
apply
this
habit used to know many cases Change preposition
of problem
problem
that must Fix the agreement mistake
problems
to
choose to resolve in a Change the verb form
apply
limit
time. These young people have an experience from these Replace the word
limited
games
that an used in the future as a reference to life
as a civilian in society. It is a good impact that many many particular do not enough
references in Add a missing verb
have enough
life
and do know
what to do to choose the right thing in daily activity. In the same way, the kids who are Rephrase
not know
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
to play
Change preposition
in playing
computer- based
Correct your spelling
computer-based
games
win a champion
and can make Replace the word
championship
a
money as a hobby.
In conclusion, being a player in Remove the article
apply
games
would be a good resources
for Correct the article-noun agreement
resource
dothe
Correct your spelling
the
life
.Submitted by patricius.yohanes on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The essay needs a clearer organization with a more distinct introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and should be logically connected to build a strong argument.
task achievement
Some points are general and lack specific examples. Try to incorporate more concrete examples or citations to support your ideas. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
task achievement
Work on sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity. Make sure to proofread for typos and grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement and correct use of articles.
task achievement
The essay tackles both the advantages and disadvantages of video games, which shows a balanced perspective.
task achievement
The essay attempts to show the positive impacts of video games, such as improved problem-solving skills, which adds depth to the discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.