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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The line graph below shows the number of monthly active users of some social network and messaging services between 2010 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows the number of monthly active users of some social network and messaging services between 2010 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #users #network #services #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph demonstrates
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people who
are being
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 used
sites
Use synonyms
 of social
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
multiple times.
Coampred
Correct your spelling
Compared
 between massaging and working services from 2010 to 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, the largest
sites
Use synonyms
 of percentages that have been used by proportion is
one
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
sites
Change to a singular noun
site
show examples
 in 2014 and five
sites
Use synonyms
 is the smallest number.
Although
Linking Words
,
highest
Add an article
a highest
the highest
show examples
user
Use synonyms
 in 2015
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
one
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
sites
Change to a singular noun
site
show examples
 and
lowest
Add an article
the lowest
show examples
user
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 five
sites
Use synonyms
. From the comparison of people using the
soical
Correct your spelling
social
 network for monthly
actives
Replace the word
activities
show examples
 average is between no
sites
Use synonyms
 and two
sites
Use synonyms
. From starting, in
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 year of 2014 no
sites
Use synonyms
has been
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
use
Change the verb form
using
used
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 influence 22% of
Use synonyms
Add an article
the user
show examples
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
.
One
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
sites
Change noun form
site's
show examples
user
Use synonyms
 is
extrememly
Correct your spelling
extremely
 increased to 36%,
then
Linking Words
 declined to 23% on two
sites
Use synonyms
.
however
Linking Words
,
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of users dramatically decreased to 2% in between three
sites
Use synonyms
, four
sites
Use synonyms
 and
fives
Correct your spelling
five
show examples
sites
Use synonyms
 of the services.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
2015
Change preposition
in 2015
show examples
, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of people who are using
network
Add an article
the network
a network
show examples
,
beginning
Wrong verb form
began
show examples
 at 23% on no
sites
Use synonyms
, up to 26%
in addition
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
one
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
sites
Change noun form
site's
show examples
user
Use synonyms
 service.
Verb problem
Besides
show examples
despites
Correct your spelling
despite
show examples
 of that,
sharplily
Correct your spelling
sharply
 down among
Submitted by Chaiyapat Soka on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sites, one, user with synonyms.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • monthly active users
  • social network services
  • messaging services
  • time frame
  • observe a trend
  • fluctuation
  • noticeable increase
  • significant decrease
  • peak
  • trough
  • exponential growth
  • relative decline
  • steady rise
  • dramatic fall
  • comparative analysis
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