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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent.

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent.
#show #percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world #summarise #information #features #comparisons #relevent
The pie charts
illusrate
Correct your spelling
illustrate
 the number of water
used
Change the form of the verb
use
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the world in 6 different locations. both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Europe and North
America
 have used the biggest
amount
 for their industrial
use
;
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 the other places had the
higgest
Correct your spelling
highest
biggest
 range of
Agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
show examples
use
. The
amount
 of
Indutrial
Correct your spelling
Industrial
use
 in North
america
Change the capitalization
America
show examples
 and Europe followed by 48% and 53%, which is nearly
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half was the most
using
Change the form of the verb
used
show examples
,
although
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
South
america
Change the capitalization
America
show examples
 and
South east
Correct your spelling
Southeast
show examples
Asia
 in order by 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and 12
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 is one of the big using.
Agricaltural
Correct your spelling
Agricultural
use
 was the biggest
uses
Fix the agreement mistake
use
show examples
 in Central
Asia
 by 88%
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 is more than three
quarter
Fix the agreement mistake
quarters
show examples
, after that Africa by 84% and
Sout east
Correct your spelling
Southeast
show examples
Asia
 by 81% was the
higgest
Correct your spelling
highest
biggest
 range usees. The smallest
use
 in all of
this
 area is for Domestic water in South
America
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
19%, in Europe
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 15% and in North
America
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 13%,
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
this
amount
 in South
est
Correct your spelling
east
show examples
Asia
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
12% it`s
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
higgest
Correct your spelling
highest
biggest
amount
use
Replace the word
used
show examples
. The other places used
almoust
Correct your spelling
almost
 less than 10 per cent in each.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words america, amount, use, asia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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