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Band 4.5

Some employers believe that job applicants' social skills are more important than their academic qualifications. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#employers #job #applicants #skills #qualifications
I totally agree with
this
 statement. These days some workers think that social
skills
 are more vital than academic qualifications for jobs . For the most part, in
presents
Change the noun form
present
show examples
 days all companies or
leader
Fix the agreement mistake
leaders
show examples
 of business as can be expected, social
skills
 are the most critical
things
Fix the agreement mistake
thing
show examples
 recently .
Firstaly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
, as can be
know
Wrong verb form
known
show examples
 all things need communication
skills
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
as
Change preposition
For
show examples
, when you go to
mall
Add an article
the mall
show examples
 you will meet customer service even though you did not find him/her has a personality you can not deal with
him
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
/
her
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. To illustrate, any company from
HR
Correct article usage
the HR
show examples
 department will meet you to introduce yourself. If you do not show your
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
 body language or personality you will lose a chance .
Secondly
,
to conclude
 that
communications
Fix the agreement mistake
communication
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 overstanding because all humans use it daily .
Furthermore
, in spite
of
Correct pronoun usage
of this
show examples
, there are a lot of
skills
 but socialising or public relations take with regard to
everytime
Replace the word
every time
show examples
.
In particular
,
modern day
Add a hyphen
modern-day
show examples
 people have the ability to reach a different behaviour
also
, they have aware to open any conversation with someone .
In other words
, technology teaches us how we can show ourselves under these circumstances and
thus
 lead
your
Correct pronoun usage
our
show examples
 future substantially.
For instance
, my friend has knowledge and
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
 but
dose
Correct your spelling
does
show examples
 not have
skills
Correct article usage
the skills
show examples
Change preposition
in communications
show examples
communications
Fix the agreement mistake
communication
show examples
 not only
this
 issue but
also
 he lost
fascinating
Correct article usage
a fascinating
show examples
opportunity that's
Correct pronoun usage
opportunity's
show examples
 why he must teach himself. In my point of view
depend
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
show examples
 on the subject , I strongly believe that it very must discover your
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 and present yourself to take
gold
Correct article usage
a gold
show examples
 chance or opportunity .
Submitted by nahlaalrashidi on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has one clear main idea and that this idea is fully developed with supporting sentences. Avoid introducing too many ideas in a single paragraph as it may confuse the reader.
task achievement
Work on expanding your ideas more comprehensively and explain them clearly. Use specific examples to illustrate your points to make them more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Improve the structure of your essay by making sure each paragraph flows logically into the next. Using transition words effectively can help achieve this.
task achievement
Your essay has a clear viewpoint that is consistently supported throughout the essay. This shows a good level of understanding of the topic and your position.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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