IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In the letter • Explain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six months • Say how your work could be done while you are away • Ask for his/ her help in arranging it

#work #company #six #months #head #office #country #manager #company’s
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Dear Mr. Pal, I am writing in connection with requesting to work as a head office in Turkey branch of our company. I am Mahshid. Kargar and nowadays I am working as a business manager at the branch of Iran. Owing to my strong qualifications and experience, I would like to seek your permission to spend 6 months in that country. I think
this
Linking Words
opportunity
Use synonyms
 can broaden my horizon and
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 to be familiar with new methods for managing in business. Having travelled to Turkey, I will choose a suitable alternative person with your approval to be
charge
Change preposition
in charge
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 of my tasks. I will teach them roles of office, software and
time table
Correct your spelling
timetable
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. before I go to Turkey.
In addition
Linking Words
, I will have
connection
Add an article
a connection
show examples
 with them through phone or Internet. I assure each
tasks
Change to a singular noun
task
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 would have done
on
Change preposition
in
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 a timely manner. Given the fact that it
opportunity
Use synonyms
serve
Correct subject-verb agreement
serves
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 me a great deal of benefit and it can be a unique learning
opportunity
Use synonyms
.
With your
Change preposition
Your
show examples
 approval for arranging
this
Linking Words
opportunity
Use synonyms
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
would assist me with making new communication
channel
Fix the agreement mistake
channels
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 and
expand
Wrong verb form
expanding
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 my knowledge. I hope my proposal will not
make
Verb problem
cause
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 any inconvenience.
Your
Correct the word
Yours
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 sincerely, M. Ka
Submitted by kargar.mh1992 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that paragraphs are more distinct and single-idea focused.
task achievement
Provide more detail on how your tasks will be managed in your absence to enhance task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Adequate greeting and closing which fits the formal tone of the letter.
task achievement
Polite and professional tone maintained throughout the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • professional development
  • global operations
  • cross-functional
  • remote work
  • progress updates
  • logistical arrangements
  • cultural exchange
  • continuity plan
  • enhance my skillset
  • broaden my horizons
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