Getting promotions is one of the biggest drives for people to apply themselves and work hard in the modern workplace. Why do you think people are so driven to get promotions? What other factors influence people to work hard? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
The leverage of promotion is big enough to push employees to
work
diligently. There are many reasons attributed to the success of an individual and other factors also
contribute to push
people to Change the verb form
pushing
work
hard at
Change preposition
in
Correct article usage
the workplaces
workplaces
. In Fix the agreement mistake
workplace
this
essay, the reasons of
Change preposition
for
this
phenomenon will be explored along with
other causes of success of an individual at work
.
To begin
with, higher position jobs help people to earn more money. This
impetus allows them to work
even harder which results in progress
of Correct article usage
the progress
an
individual. So, increased pay helps them improve their lifestyle Correct article usage
the
as well as
their personal well-being. Besides
this
, the highest rank workers are respected and their advise
is continuously Replace the word
advice
seeked
by the management of Correct your spelling
sought
company
. To exemplify, when an individual becomes manager Add an article
the company
a company
then
the whole department is under his control and his responsibility level is the greatest. Thus
, that person has to work
a lot harder to make things work
and raised
salary acts as a motivation to improve his dedication.
Correct article usage
a raised
In addition
, a worker also
contributes more when he is incentivized. For instance
, some jobs are based on sales commission
. The salespeople have to sell more to Fix the agreement mistake
commissions
increase
their income. This
is why some employees make profit
by improving their skills at Add an article
a profit
work
. The mangement
of Correct your spelling
management
company
Correct article usage
the company
assess
their performance based on the number of new clients connected to the company. Ergo, people perform better when their performance is monitored and evaluated. Correct subject-verb agreement
assesses
For example
, insurance agents have to increase
their clients
base and have to regularly sell new policies to earn money Change the noun form
client
otherwise
they get laid off due to
poor performance.
In conclusion, promotions are a great way to motivate workers which in exchange helps employers to increase
their profits. Therefore
, this
is done to raise living
conditions of their worker and Correct article usage
the living
also
some incentives are provided to increase
sales.Submitted by Kiran on
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task achievement
Ensure that the essay addresses all parts of the task and provides a complete response by elaborating on each point thoroughly.
task achievement
Improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of ideas by explaining and supporting them in more detail.
task achievement
Use specific and relevant examples more effectively to illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. Improve signposting and transitions to strengthen coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all key points are well-supported and developed throughout the essay. This will enhance both coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good structure to the response.
task achievement
You have acknowledged multiple factors that drive people to work hard, which shows depth in understanding the topic.
task achievement
Good use of examples to support the main points, making the arguments more convincing.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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