IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many employers are employing people with good social skills as well as good qualifications. Do you agree or disagree that good social skills are as important as good qualifications to succeed in a job?

#employers #people #skills #qualifications #job
A lot of
people
 consider
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 who have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 good
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
 background,
Correct word choice
and working
show examples
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
 experience as the key
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 to
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
 job, but some of them usually neglect the importance of social skills. Despite some
people
 believe
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 working ability is the most important thing. The following essay will illustrate two of
principal
Correct article usage
the principal
show examples
 reasons why I personally believe that
people
 with good social skills are as vital as good qualifications to be successful in a job. Most important of all,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social ability is the only thing that has been taught since
people
 were born,
for example
,
people
 have to learn how to communicate with their family, make new friends, cooperate with teammates, and so on
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 every single occasion.
According to
this
, it is enough to present how important is social ability.
Secondly
, once
people
 step
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
business occasions, they must have the possibility to negotiate with other enterprises, and it has a lot of things to do with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social skills; so that could make those entrepreneurs convinced.
However
, the environment forces
people
 to pursue“how many certificates
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
you have,” “university’s fame,” ”how productive you are,” etc. A number of
people
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 already missed what is the key point in their lives, but it doesn’t mean that good qualification is meaningless. The reason why
people
 blindly
pursing
Verb problem
pursue
show examples
 these background qualifications is because
that is
 the entry pass to succeed in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
.
To sum up
, it is a disputable fact that the aim of
Correct article usage
a
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 good
Replace the word
educational
show examples
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
 background and working experiences ought to be the main, but the abilities that how to socialize, communicate, and negotiate are vital as well.
Submitted by eddie910208 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve your task achievement, try to provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, you could mention scenarios from famous companies or notable leaders where social skills played a crucial role in their success.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, work on improving the logical structure a bit more. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next and that all points are clearly linked to your main thesis.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a solid structure for your argument.
task achievement
You have a complete response to the task, addressing both qualifications and social skills in the context of job success.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!