Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion
The advancement of time and technology certainly requires
students
to always develop themselves, especially the
Correct article usage
apply
university
students
. When students
enter a university
, of course
they choose one major with one compulsory Add the comma(s)
course,
subject
and materials related to their discipline. Some students
consider they must focus on their main subject
in order to get a maximum result while
getting a qualification for their field. However
, other students
may have confidence that one of the ways to be able compete
with other job candidates is by learning topics Add the particle
to compete
in addition
to their gist material. I want to discuss both sides of the argument.
The Ministry of Education in the Republic of Indonesia, Nadiem Makarim said that in the future, a job opportunity would not be opened solely to match the candidate’s background of study,
but to Remove the comma
apply
fulfill
their interests, Change the spelling
fulfil
skill
, experience, and knowledge. Fix the agreement mistake
skills
On the other hand
, every student
has different interests and talents. Consequently
, other subjects can give opportunity to each student
to develop their out of the box
ideas, based on their ability.
In fact, Add a hyphen
out-of-the-box
much
Change the quantifier
many students
student
after finish in
Wrong verb form
finishing
the
Correct article usage
apply
university
and
Correct word choice
apply
than
Change preposition
apply
work
not Verb problem
do
releate
Correct your spelling
relate
release
related
with
their major so shows Change preposition
to
that
how is very important for Correct word choice
apply
student
to Fix the agreement mistake
students
can
learn various dicipline. If Verb problem
apply
student
have Fix the agreement mistake
students
understanding
and provision of knowledge of Correct article usage
an understanding
course
will became
good Change the verb form
become
consideration
for the company. Hopefully, later the Fix the agreement mistake
considerations
student
can survive and can get a job easily.
On the other hand
, student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
that
focus Correct pronoun usage
who
to
Change preposition
on
main
Change the article
the main
course
actually what
the Correct your spelling
want
subject
that they choose have releate
and to be able follow Correct your spelling
relevant
material
in Add an article
the material
university
. Usually
the Add a comma
Usually,
student
who have Fix the agreement mistake
students
dream
become lecturer of Fix the agreement mistake
dreams
course
they not interested learning
Change preposition
in learning
other
Change the wording
another subject
other subjects
subject
because they assumes
Change the verb form
assume
can
waste time and can get Correct word choice
that can
maximum
target for a qualification.
Summing up, the Correct article usage
the maximum
student
can focus priority to main
Change the article
the main
course
when feel better in the future for example
became
Wrong verb form
becoming
lecturer
or researcher. Correct article usage
a lecturer
Likewise
for
Change preposition
apply
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
want
explore and expand Add the particle
want to
the
knowledge so can take other Change the word
their
course
but still not Fix the agreement mistake
courses
leaving
Wrong verb form
leave
gist
Correct article usage
the gist
course
.Submitted by writingbersama on
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grammar
Ensure that sentences are correctly structured and grammatically accurate. For example, 'much student after finish' should be 'many students after finishing'.
example
Develop main points with clearer explanations and more specific examples to support your ideas. Instead of saying 'not related with their major,' you can mention specific fields or industries.
coherence
Improve transitions between paragraphs to enhance overall coherence. Use phrases such as 'On one hand,' 'Additionally,' 'Conversely,' etc., to better guide the reader through your argument.
vocabulary
Use a broader range of vocabulary and more precise terms to articulate your points more clearly and effectively.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points effectively.
task
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, fulfilling the task requirements satisfactorily.
example
Attempt to provide relevant examples to support the main points, which helps in illustrating the arguments made.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.