Surveys conducted in 1982 and 2002 show different pictures of what motivate students to choose a college or university in the UK Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The featured pie charts illustrate the proportion of six
factors
that affect
students
' willingness to
further
study in university or college in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
between 1982 and 2002.
Overall
, more
students
deem amenities, social activities, sports facilities and reputation of the institution as the important
factors
,
while
there is a different trend for other
factors
. It is clear from the graph that there was 40%
students
Change preposition
of students
show examples
regard
Wrong verb form
regarded
show examples
stuitable
Correct your spelling
suitable
courses and degrees as the significant motivation to enter
into
Change preposition
apply
show examples
college in 1982, followed by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
costs at 28%.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
students
who recognized location as the reason took up 19% in 1982.
Additionally
, that figure for admission criteria was only 3%. Coincidentally, all of those four
factors
saw a
Correct your spelling
downward
downupward
Correct your spelling
downward
over the next 20 years. In 2002, the proportion of proper courses&degrees, costs, location and
admissioin
Correct your spelling
admission
admissions
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
34%, 5%,16% and 2% respectively.
By contrast
, the percentage of
ammentities
Correct your spelling
amenities
, social activities, sports facilities and reputation of the
insititution
Correct your spelling
institution
has increased. More
students
choose
Wrong verb form
chose
show examples
reputation into
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
consideration, resulting
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
percentage of it
rose
Wrong verb form
rising
show examples
from 5% to 25%.
Similarly
, that figure for ASS
climed
Correct your spelling
climbed
from 5% to 18%.
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task achievement
You have provided a clear response to the task by summarizing the main features effectively. However, some information could be clearer. For example, explain the abbreviations like 'ASS' and ensure figures complement the explanation.
task achievement
Ensure all sentences are grammatically correct and clear. For instance, 'there was 40% students regard stuitable courses' could be changed to '40% of students regarded suitable courses'. Pay attention to minor spelling mistakes such as 'ammentities' to 'amenities' or 'insititution' to 'institution'.
coherence cohesion
Linking words have been used effectively to guide the reader through the essay, but some transitions could be smoother. For example, 'By contrast' could be expanded to 'By contrast, there was an increase in the importance of amenities' to make the connection clearer.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is present but the conclusion is somewhat implicit. Summarize the key findings neatly in the conclusion to wrap up the essay.
coherence cohesion
You have identified and compared the trends in the data over the two years clearly.
task achievement
The main features of the data are well-selected and appropriately reported.

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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