IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The charts below show the proposition of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.

The charts below show the proposition of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.
#show #proposition #british #students #university #england #languages #addition #english
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie chart
comparaes
Correct your spelling
compares
 the percentages of British
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 at one college in England
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 they
cans
Change the modal
can
show examples
 speak different languages
furthermore
Linking Words
 with their original language
between
Change preposition
for
show examples
 one decade.
Overall
Linking Words
, as it is presented
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Spanish only
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the highest percentages in both segments
whereas
Linking Words
 there are not the lowest per cents in each silds . First of all, in 2000
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Spanish only
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 2010 just 5%
in addition
Linking Words
 it was higher numbers in 2010
in contrast
Linking Words
 in 2000 the no
onther
Correct your spelling
other
 language
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dropped to double in the year 2010.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 the
per cent
Correct your spelling
percentage
show examples
 of
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
onther
Correct your spelling
other
 languages stood
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 same proportion exactly.
also
Linking Words
 between 2000 and
2010
Add a comma
2010,
show examples
it is clear that
Linking Words
 Germany only
there were
Verb problem
had the
show examples
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 level
to accounted
Change preposition
accounting
show examples
 for 10% . during 2000 the
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 language was 15 per cent
while
Linking Words
 in 2010 was 20 %. In 2000
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
British students
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
were able
speak
Add the particle
to speak
show examples
french
Capitalize word
French
show examples
 only 15
protion
Correct your spelling
portion
.
Submitted by sialamer on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: