IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Your English-speaking friend who lives in your town has asked for your advice about learning a new sport. Write an email to your friend. In your email •Recommend a new sport that would be suitable for your friend to learn •Explain how your friend could learn this sport •Suggest that you both learn this sport together

#friend #lives #town #advice #sport #email #•recommend #•explain #•suggest
Dear Mahdis I hope you’re well. I was so glad when I received your mail and I was even happier when I found out you decided to learn a new sport
while
 you are living here on Kish Island, in my home town. As I know you very well, I know you have an adventurous and
sportive
Correct word choice
sporty
show examples
 personality.
Also
, you are fond of the sea and the sun. I am sure you enjoy spending hours at the beach. I can tell that water sports
such
 as surfing or cable skiing are the best options for you. There are lots of professional coaches who are working at the sea clubs and you can rent the equipment like paddle and kite at first. I will send you the phone number of Mr Omid who has international certification in surfing and he is good at English. Why don’t we start water surfing together? I am passionate about
this
 activity but I never had a chance to try it. It would be great if we could register together and maybe it would be cheaper for both of us. Hope to see you soon. Negar
Submitted by Negar_seddigh on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance your essay's coherence and cohesion, consider adding more transitional phrases to strengthen the connection between your ideas. For example, phrases like 'In addition,' or 'Moreover,' could be used when mentioning the availability of professional coaches and equipment rentals.
task achievement
While your task response is strong, providing more specific details about why you think your friend would enjoy water surfing (e.g., past experiences, particular interests) would add depth. Mentioning how it matches their adventurous nature can make your recommendation more compelling.
task achievement
The email effectively addresses all parts of the task. The recommendation of water sports fits well with the friend's personality and interests as described, which makes the suggestion very suitable.
coherence cohesion
Your language is clear, and your points are well-organized, making your email very easy to follow. The idea of learning together is a great way to encourage mutual interest and create a sense of camaraderie.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • suitable
  • facilities
  • physical capabilities
  • interests
  • local club
  • hiring a coach
  • online resources
  • practice sessions
  • motivating
  • attending classes
What to do next:
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