Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There are different opinions about asking
personal
Change preposition
for personal
information
for
Change preposition
from
people
applying
jobs. Some Add the preposition
applying for
people
, including me, believe this
information
may be relevant and useful, whereas
others
disagree.
The main upside of asking these questions can be offering new facilities, recreational objects or different opportunities based on the hobbies or interests of employees
. This
means that,
gathering Remove the comma
apply
this
information
helps realize most favorite hobbies among employees
. For example
, Rotch Company in Iran has considered different pool vouchers and tennis courts as a gift for encouraging competent personnel. This
lead
to job satisfaction and a strong Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
band
among Correct your spelling
bond
employees
and the employer.
Furthermore
, this
option can be helpful for realizing employees
’ traits and personalities. Due to
the fact that some people
prefer teamwork and they are good at communication skills, in
addition
Add the comma(s)
addition,
others
prefer solo activities and can adapt efficiently if they work individually. Some careers included
marketing and sales need good communication skills Wrong verb form
including
in contrast
, others
such
as laboratory supervisors may need to be alone to carry out their tasks. As a result
of these personalities, employees
of the company may succeed a step ahead.
One of the downsides of asking personal questions is qualifications and skills must be more important than private data for employers. Personal information
can effect
a false impact on employers’ decisions. Verb problem
have
For instance
, in Iran, there is not sufficient insight into some people
who have got divorced or others
listening to tracks of rap music. This
information
may give rise to adverse effects on employers’ concepts. Another disadvantage can be discrimination which will appears
in Change the verb form
appear
workplace
. Add an article
the workplace
As a result
of personal data, each person
private details can be proven. Change noun form
person's
For example
, some people
who live in the suburb
may feel Fix the agreement mistake
suburbs
difference
among Fix the agreement mistake
differences
them self
and peer colleagues. Correct your spelling
themself
themselves
Therefore
, it may cause job dissatisfaction.
In conclusion, although
asking for
personal questions Change preposition
apply
from
Change preposition
of
people
applying for jobs could be detrimental due to
a negative impact on the manager and discrimination in a workplace, I believe that due to
being familiar with suitable employment and efficient facilities, its advantages is
more significant.Change the verb form
are
Submitted by kargar.mh1992 on
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task achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion of both views and supported your position effectively. However, including more specific examples or statistics would enhance the strength of your points further.
coherence cohesion
Improve the clarity and variety of your sentence structures. There are a few grammatical and punctuation errors that slightly obfuscate your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
task achievement
You have successfully highlighted the potential advantages and disadvantages of asking personal questions during the job application process.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?